News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

New Study Finds 97% of Streaming Time Spent Just Scrolling Across 6+ Subscriptions

In a groundbreaking study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have confirmed that 97% of the average person's time on streaming platforms is spent endlessly scrolling through titles while slowly losing the will to live—despite having more than six active subscriptions. "We expected some...

“Eugene Squirrels Are Straight-Up Trippin’ After Being Fed Psilocybin Mushrooms,” Officials Say

EUGENE, OR — City officials are urging residents to stop feeding psychedelic mushrooms to local squirrels, after what one parks employee described as a “full-blown squirrel consciousness shift” unfolded near the duck pond at Alton Baker Park earlier this week. “We’ve seen a dramatic uptick in...

Weekend BBQ Plans Proceed as Dad Secures Down Payment on Ribeyes

SWEET HOME, OR — After weeks of intense financial planning and one extremely awkward meeting with a steak loan officer, local dad Ron Beckett has officially secured a down payment on two USDA Choice ribeye steaks—just in time for his long-awaited weekend BBQ. “We had to move some things around,”...

Parents Sit Teen Down for “American Dream Talk,” Gently Explain He’ll Be Renting a Carpeted Garage Corner for $2,400

Salem, Oregon — In a moving display of parental love mixed with economic nihilism, local couple Doug and Melissa Jenkins sat their 17-year-old son Caleb down Tuesday night for what they solemnly called “The American Dream Talk”—a beloved Jenkins family tradition in which hopes are dashed in...

That Methy Neighbor Wearing Headlamp at 2:30AM Is Just One Bolt Away From Wrapping It Up

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Residents of a quiet suburban street were once again reassured by the familiar clanking of socket wrenches and muttered profanity echoing through the neighborhood as that really cool methy neighbor resumed work on his eternally disassembled Honda Civic at exactly 2:30AM. Armed...
DMV to Close Multiple Offices For Summer in Oregon

DMV to Close Multiple Offices For Summer in Oregon

Due to the fact the Dept. of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is facing worker shortages, and a statewide reorganization of offices, the Corvallis Gazette Times is reporting that 10% of DMV offices will be closing this summer. With six to 60 offices being closed, the offices...

New Oregon License Plates ‘Watch for Wildlife’ Available Soon

New Oregon License Plates ‘Watch for Wildlife’ Available Soon

Oregon is really stepping up their game on all the license plates available these days. Growing up, all we had was the classic old yellow plates. Nowadays you can choose between Crater Lake, The Ducks, Salmon, and more to customize your plate. The latest addition is a...

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