News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

40-Year-Old Hiker Eager to Rediscover That One Weird Knee Pain Again This Weekend

BEND, OR — Local 40-year-old insurance adjuster and recreational hiker Kyle Marston is reportedly gearing up for another exciting weekend on the trails, where he fully expects to rediscover that same vague, mysterious knee pain that’s been haunting him since a poorly timed leap off a rock in 2017....

Easter Bunny Quits Lloyd Center Gig After Getting Jumped by Toddler With Brass Knuckles

PORTLAND, OR — In what mall officials are calling “an unfortunate holiday incident,” the Easter Bunny abruptly ended his seasonal duties at the Lloyd Center this weekend after reportedly being ambushed by a 3-year-old wielding toddler-sized brass knuckles and a sippy cup full of Red Bull....

CDC Warns Zombie Outbreak Probably Unlikely, But Also Definitely Starting in Portland’s Amtrak Station

PORTLAND, OR — In a newly released report blending cautious optimism with a strong whiff of apocalyptic dread, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced Wednesday that while a zombie outbreak is “probably unlikely,” it is also “definitely beginning inside Portland’s Amtrak...

Oregon Passes New Gun Law Limiting Citizens to Only Single-Shot Muskets

SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to reduce gun violence and increase reloading time to a full 90 seconds, Oregon lawmakers have passed a new bill that limits all private citizens to only single-shot muskets. Governor Tina Kotek signed the bill into law Tuesday while dramatically quoting...

Oregon Hikers Report Being Stopped by Wandering Wizard Demanding Their Marijuana Gummies

SILVER FALLS STATE PARK, OR — What began as a peaceful afternoon hike took an unexpectedly magical turn this week when a group of Oregon hikers reported being stopped by a robed wizard demanding “their finest marijuanas.” “He looked exactly like Gandalf,” said hiker Kyle B., still visibly in awe....
OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

Update: BREAKING NEWS-Just released from the Harney County Sheriff's Office, suspect that was involved in yesterday's high speed vehicle chase which started in Salt Lake City, Utah has been caught. We will update when more information becomes available. (via Elkhorn...

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

The Oregon wildfires have now made national news as the Cedar Creek Fire, which has quadrupled in size, is one of 21 fires currently burning in Oregon. According to NPR, the Cedar ACreek Wildfire is said to be the largest currently ablaze. Space.com recently posted...

Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Ten Portlanders filed a class action lawsuit against the city September 6, alleging that the homeless encampments blocking the sidewalk violate the Americans with Disabilities Act. If successful, the lawsuit could force the city's hand in providing a much-needed,...

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Yesterday the Mill fire raged through parts of Weed California, destroying many homes and prompting evacuations in Weed, Lake Shastina, Grenada, and other nearby areas. Today the fire is over 3,921 acres, and 20 percent contained. California recently secured a FEMA...

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