Extreme Centrist Portlander Avoids Detection After Perfecting Blank Stare During Political Rants
PORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local man Brian Callahan has reportedly survived another week in Portland without being outed as a moderate — thanks to a carefully rehearsed “blank, vaguely empathetic stare” he now deploys whenever someone goes off about capitalism, cis-heteronormativity, or why rent should be illegal. “I used to make the mistake of nodding thoughtfully,” said Callahan, 38, “but then someone assumed I...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Lincoln City Launches Drone Show in First Firework-Free Fourth of July on the Oregon Coast
If you’re anything like me, the Fourth of July has always meant one thing: fireworks. The rumble in your chest, the sulfur in the air, the oohs and ahhs from the crowd as brilliant explosions light...
FBI Rejoins Kyron Horman Investigation as Thousands of Case Files Go Digital
Nearly 15 years after Kyron Horman vanished from Skyline Elementary School in Portland, Oregon, the case is receiving renewed attention. The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office, in collaboration with...
Don’t Confuse Wildlife Safari in Winston With the Horror Show That Was West Coast Game Park Safari
This past week, Oregon made national headlines for all the wrong reasons. More than 300 animals were seized from the West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon after authorities uncovered a nightmare...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
Elmer’s Set to Open in Former Shari’s Location in Bend
BEND, Ore. — For longtime Oregonians, the familiar glow of a Shari’s sign once meant warm pies, late-night coffee refills, and a place where countless stories were shared across laminated menus. But...
This New Bend Pizza Joint Has Locals Addicted to the Pasta and Wings, Too
There’s something special happening on the east side of Bend, Oregon. It’s not another brewery or food cart pod—it’s pizza. But this isn’t your average slice. Fat Tony’s Pizzeria is turning out...
The Best Milkshakes in Oregon? Locals Say Sno Cap Has Had the Crown Since 1952
When it comes to milkshakes, Oregonians don’t mess around. You can’t just say you’ve got the best milkshake in town—you’ve got to prove it. And that’s exactly what Sno Cap Drive In in Sisters,...
Extreme Centrist Portlander Avoids Detection After Perfecting Blank Stare During Political Rants
PORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local man Brian Callahan has reportedly survived another week in Portland without being outed as a moderate — thanks to a carefully rehearsed “blank, vaguely...
Americans Discover WNBA Still Exists While Pretending They’ve Always Cared About WNBA
In a truly heartwarming display of performative activism, Americans everywhere have suddenly discovered the WNBA is still a thing—and are now passionately pretending they’ve supported it this whole time. The newfound enthusiasm comes not from interest in basketball...
Florence Erects Statue of Exploding Whale, Immediately Blows It Up for Historical Accuracy
Florence, Oregon – In a heartwarming tribute to Oregon’s most explosive historical moment, the city of Florence unveiled a life-sized statue of the infamous exploding whale on Tuesday—then promptly reduced it to flaming chunks with 20 cases of surplus dynamite. City...
Oregon Officials Propose Setting Fire to Money Directly
SALEM, OR — In a bold new plan, Oregon leaders say they have finally figured out how to fix all the state’s biggest problems: by taking a big pile of your tax money… and setting it on fire. Yes, seriously. Governor Tina Kotek recently announced another big idea to...
Texas Bans THC, Instructs Citizens to “Just Get Drunk Like God Intended”
AUSTIN, TX — In a bold return to the golden age of moral panic and liver damage, the Texas House passed Senate Bill 3 late Wednesday night, banning all intoxicating THC products while reaffirming the state’s unwavering belief that the only righteous way to unwind is...
Lincoln City Police Take Down Two Suspected Pedophiles Targeting Local Kids
In a time when it's easy to focus on the negatives, we at That Oregon Life want to pause and give a sincere thank you to the Lincoln City Police Department for doing what truly matters: protecting our children. Over the past several months, Lincoln City officers have...
Oregon Approves Airbnb Cabin on Bandon’s Face Rock: “Definitely Safer Than It Looks”
BANDON, OR — In a groundbreaking move that combines coastal charm with what some are calling “blatant disregard for gravity,” Oregon officials have approved construction of a fully off-grid Airbnb cabin perched directly atop Bandon’s iconic sea stack, Face Rock....
Lincoln City Launches Drone Show in First Firework-Free Fourth of July on the Oregon Coast
If you’re anything like me, the Fourth of July has always meant one thing: fireworks. The rumble in your chest, the sulfur in the air, the oohs and ahhs from the crowd as brilliant explosions light up the sky. It’s a ritual I’ve loved since I was a kid. But this year,...
Three Arrested After Bodies Found Near Oakridge, Including Two Teens
Three people have been arrested in connection with the deaths of a man and a teenage girl found southeast of Oakridge on May 20, according to the Lane County Sheriff’s Office. Detectives say the two victims showed signs of “homicidal violence.” Their names haven’t...
Undocumented Drug Mule Busted in Oregon with 60 Pounds of Fentanyl
A man unlawfully residing in the United States is facing federal charges after Oregon State Police discovered more than 60 pounds of powdered fentanyl during a traffic stop near Albany, Oregon. According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Oregon,...