News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Local Meth Cook Gives Back by Providing Free ‘Science Lessons’ to Youth

EUGENE, OR — In an inspiring display of community spirit, local meth entrepreneur Travis "Sparky" Jenkins has announced a new initiative aimed at educating the next generation of scientists: free backyard "science lessons" for area youth. “I just want to give back, you know?” said Jenkins, who...

Joe Biden Spotted Casually Driving Ice Cream Truck Through Downtown Portland

PORTLAND, OR — In what city officials have described as "just another Tuesday," former President Joe Biden was spotted casually driving an old-school ice cream truck through downtown Portland this afternoon, smiling brightly and proudly holding up an ice cream cone to passersby. Witnesses say...

Weirdo Boldly Reads Newspaper in Public Instead of Mindlessly Doomscrolling Like the Rest of Us

PORTLAND, OR — In a bizarre scene that left passersby unsettled, a local weirdo was spotted yesterday morning sitting alone on a park bench downtown, openly reading a physical newspaper instead of doomscrolling his phone like a normal, emotionally fragile person. Eyewitnesses reported that the man...

Sad: Loser Photographer Just Needs to Give it Up, Because Let’s Be Honest His Work is Trash

Roseburg, OR — In a heartbreaking but entirely predictable development, local Roseburg man Tyler McMannis reportedly spent yet another weekend wandering Oregon’s scenic trails, clinging desperately to his Canon EOS camera like it wasn’t already over for him. Witnesses spotted McMannis near the...

Oregon Named Best State To Raise A Little Free-Range Anarchist With A Trust Fund

PORTLAND, OR — In news that surprised absolutely no one and disappointed absolutely everyone’s grandparents, Oregon has officially been named the best state to raise a little free-range anarchist with a trust fund. The groundbreaking report, issued by the National Institute for Highly Specific...
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