News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Bigfoot Joins Tinder, Women Ditch Their Men After Reading: ‘I Chop Wood and Disappear Like Your Dad’

HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their boyfriends mid-swipe. The bio in question?“I chop wood and disappear like your...

New Club “Granny Grinders” Opens in Oregon With 65+ Dancers, Bingo, and Zero Teeth Required

Springfield, OR — Residents were once again left clutching their pearls this week after hearing rumors about yet another offbeat strip club opening in their neighborhood — but this time, it’s not pregnant women causing a stir. It’s grandmothers. The new establishment, opening just outside of...

Goodwill Boutique Staff Confused Why Poor People Keep Trying to Shop There

NEWPORT, OR — Staff at the Goodwill Boutique on Cape & Donation Center are reportedly “deeply puzzled” by the steady stream of financially struggling people who keep showing up under the false assumption that this is a place for affordable clothing — rather than a coastal showroom for $58...

Authorities Raid West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon Over Suspected Animal Abuse

BANDON, Ore. — The long-troubled West Coast Game Park Safari was raided Thursday morning by Oregon State Police in what animal advocates are calling a long-overdue reckoning. According to OSP, multiple search warrants were executed at the Bandon-based roadside zoo as part of a criminal...

Costco Shopper with Blinker On Willing to Die for That One Spot Near the Cart Corral Occupied by Woman Buckling Three Kids into Minivan

EUGENE, OR — In a scene that has become all too familiar in the notoriously congested parking lot of Eugene's Costco, a local man was observed steadfastly waiting with his blinker on for a prime parking spot near the cart corral, despite the current occupant—a woman meticulously buckling her three...
Eggs in Oregon and Washington Now Required to be Cage-Free

Eggs in Oregon and Washington Now Required to be Cage-Free

As reported by The Oregonian, a significant change in the poultry farming industry has been implemented in Oregon and Washington, with both states enforcing new regulations as of January 1 that require commercial egg farms to adopt cage-free environments for their...

3 People in Portland Dead After Car Shocked By Downed Power Lines

3 People in Portland Dead After Car Shocked By Downed Power Lines

In a tragic incident in Northeast Portland, a devastating accident claimed the lives of three individuals and left a young child injured. This horrific event occurred when power lines, weighed down by a tree branch, tragically fell onto their vehicle. The Portland...

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