News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button

U.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental health experts have finally reached a consensus: rewatching The NeverEnding Story is the ultimate emotional reset button. “It’s cinematic therapy,” said Dr. Elise Monroe, a...

Portland to Roll Out Human Litter Boxes This Summer, Tackling Public Defecation Crisis

In what city officials are calling a “revolution in urban sanitation,” Portland will begin installing CrapTrap 3000™ units across the metro area—human-sized, self-cleaning litter boxes designed to address the growing issue of public defecation, and “shaping the future, one log at a time.” The...

Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature

WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the spontaneous emergence of a glow-in-the-dark humanoid creature from the depths of the notoriously murky Willamette River. According to witnesses, the creature,...

Oregon Man’s Depression Downgraded from “Crippling” to “Moody” After Full Day of Sunshine

Creswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching your jaw,” local man Kyle Benson’s depression was officially downgraded from crippling to merely moody following an unprecedented full day of sunshine in Stayton, Oregon. The...

Portland Family Says Final Goodbyes to Dad Who Bravely Drank From Benson Bubbler

PORTLAND, OR — A local family is in mourning after 44-year-old Ron Breckman tragically passed away this week following what experts are calling “a reckless and ultimately fatal decision” to drink directly from a downtown Portland Benson Bubbler. “He just leaned in and drank,” said his wife, Susan...
Officials Searching For Missing Idaho Teen Believed to Be in Oregon

Officials Searching For Missing Idaho Teen Believed to Be in Oregon

PORTLAND, Oregon — The search is intensifying for a teenager, originally from Boise, Idaho, who authorities suspect might currently be in the Oregon area. Local communities and residents of the Pacific Northwest are being called upon to assist in the search for Shyla...

Voodoo Doughnut Officially Sucks

Voodoo Doughnut Officially Sucks

You’ve no doubt seen the ubiquitous pink boxes being carefully shepherded through the Portland airport by tourists, giddy to bring home a taste of “quirky” Portlandia. You may have also seen the long lines of customers snaking around the block on 3rd Ave in Old Town,...

Saying Goodbye to 8 p.m. Sunsets as Portland Slides into Fall

Saying Goodbye to 8 p.m. Sunsets as Portland Slides into Fall

The Pacific Northwest, often cloaked in its rain-draped reputation, unveils a vibrant summer palette that stands in stark contrast to common perceptions. The sunsets here are, without a doubt, in a class by themselves. As summer caresses the Northwest, it swathes the...

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