News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Officials Seek Public’s Help After Elephant Seal Pup Brutally Stabbed on Oregon Coast

In a disturbing and heartbreaking incident, a young elephant seal pup was found stabbed multiple times on the beach in Neskowin, Oregon—and officials are asking for the public’s help to track down the person responsible. According to NOAA’s Office of Law Enforcement, the attack happened late...

Trump to Reopen Toys “R” Us as Maximum Security Prison for “Really Bad Kids”

BEDMINSTER, NJ — In a bold move to “bring back law, order, and Geoffrey the Giraffe,” former President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will personally oversee the reopening of defunct toy store chain Toys “R” Us — this time as a maximum security prison exclusively for unruly children....

This Oregon Coast Beach Was Ranked the Best Spot to Watch a Seagull Steal a Burrito From a Toddler

CANNON BEACH, OR — In a move that shocked no one familiar with Oregon’s coastal crime wave of airborne kleptomaniacs, Cannon Beach has officially been ranked the most scenic location to witness a seagull violently rob a child of a full-size burrito in broad daylight. The incident that inspired the...

Bend Man Completes Full Conversation Without Mentioning He Mountain Bikes

BEND, OR — In what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” and “spiritual awakening,” local resident Tyler Hensley reportedly completed an entire five-minute conversation on Friday without once mentioning that he mountain bikes. The exchange took place at a local coffee shop known for...

Oregon Drivers Celebrate Sunshine by Staring at Men Wearing Neon Vests Holding Stop Signs

PORTLAND, OR — As the skies clear and temperatures begin to climb, Oregonians are once again flocking to their favorite summer destination: the driver’s seat of a stationary vehicle, parked on a half-paved road, silently observing a group of neon-clad men holding STOP signs like sacred relics of...
Oregon’s Cascades Bracing for Major Snow this Weekend

Oregon’s Cascades Bracing for Major Snow this Weekend

Hey there, fellow Oregonians! So, here's the scoop on our wacky weather lately. December was a bit of a tease, right? We got more rain than we usually do, but it was also warmer. Think 5 degrees toastier than what we're used to this time of year. The result? Not much...

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