News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Pale Little Oregon Man Spotted in Tank Top; Witnesses in Troutdale Call It “Too Soon”

TROUTDALE, OR — In a shocking display of seasonal overconfidence, local man Darren Melby was reportedly seen walking down Main Street in a salmon-pink tank top Thursday morning, sending townsfolk into a mild panic and causing three drivers to swerve. “He was just out there, arms fully exposed like...

Doctors Confirm You’re Technically Still Alive, Just Tired Forever After Age 36

ATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking new report released Friday, doctors from the National Institute of Realistic Health confirmed that individuals over the age of 36 are, in fact, technically still alive—though most are now operating in a permanent state of exhaustion, emotionally numb caffeine...

Local Meth Cook Gives Back by Providing Free ‘Science Lessons’ to Youth

EUGENE, OR — In an inspiring display of community spirit, local meth entrepreneur Travis "Sparky" Jenkins has announced a new initiative aimed at educating the next generation of scientists: free backyard "science lessons" for area youth. “I just want to give back, you know?” said Jenkins, who...

Joe Biden Spotted Casually Driving Ice Cream Truck Through Downtown Portland

PORTLAND, OR — In what city officials have described as "just another Tuesday," former President Joe Biden was spotted casually driving an old-school ice cream truck through downtown Portland this afternoon, smiling brightly and proudly holding up an ice cream cone to passersby. Witnesses say...

Weirdo Boldly Reads Newspaper in Public Instead of Mindlessly Doomscrolling Like the Rest of Us

PORTLAND, OR — In a bizarre scene that left passersby unsettled, a local weirdo was spotted yesterday morning sitting alone on a park bench downtown, openly reading a physical newspaper instead of doomscrolling his phone like a normal, emotionally fragile person. Eyewitnesses reported that the man...
OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

Update: BREAKING NEWS-Just released from the Harney County Sheriff's Office, suspect that was involved in yesterday's high speed vehicle chase which started in Salt Lake City, Utah has been caught. We will update when more information becomes available. (via Elkhorn...

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

The Oregon wildfires have now made national news as the Cedar Creek Fire, which has quadrupled in size, is one of 21 fires currently burning in Oregon. According to NPR, the Cedar ACreek Wildfire is said to be the largest currently ablaze. Space.com recently posted...

Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Ten Portlanders filed a class action lawsuit against the city September 6, alleging that the homeless encampments blocking the sidewalk violate the Americans with Disabilities Act. If successful, the lawsuit could force the city's hand in providing a much-needed,...

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Yesterday the Mill fire raged through parts of Weed California, destroying many homes and prompting evacuations in Weed, Lake Shastina, Grenada, and other nearby areas. Today the fire is over 3,921 acres, and 20 percent contained. California recently secured a FEMA...

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