News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Busy Mom of 3 Recommends New Meth-Infused Energy Drink “No Sketchy Sweeteners, Just Pure Speed”

GRANTS PASS, OR — In today’s chaotic world of sugar crashes, artificial additives, and PTO meetings that never end, one Oregon mother says she’s found the perfect solution: meth. Specifically, Mountain Meth — a bold new energy drink that skips the synthetic sweeteners, avoids caffeine entirely,...

Uh Oh: Eugene Man Shocked to Learn Constitution Still Has That Gun Thing In It

EUGENE, OR — Local part-time kombucha brewer Jasper Willow-Breeze experienced what experts are calling "acute textual trauma" this week after skimming a pocket Constitution and discovering the Second Amendment is still in there. “I thought we deleted that back in like, the 90s,” said...

This Isn’t Satire: Eugene Man Arrested After Threats With Gun-Shaped Bong in Grocery Store Parking Lot

You’d be forgiven for thinking this was another one of our ridiculous headlines—because “man with rifle-shaped bong triggers full police response” sounds straight out of satire. But nope. This one’s 100% real, Oregon. On Friday afternoon, May 2, police in Eugene responded to a report around 12:21...

Portland Solves Downtown Drug Crisis Instantly With Bold New ‘Drug-Free Zone’ Signs

PORTLAND, OR — In a stunning turn of events, downtown Portland’s decades-long struggle with open-air drug use has officially ended—thanks to a bold new policy initiative: putting up a lot of signs. Lining the street like hopeful little soldiers, a series of “DRUG-FREE ZONE” signs now boldly mark...

Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’

PALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the deep state, former President Donald Trump announced a bold new plan to reshape the American holiday calendar by adding two new national holidays: “We’re the Best Day” and “Other Countries Are...
12 Year Old Girl Missing In Portland May Be In Danger

12 Year Old Girl Missing In Portland May Be In Danger

On October 13th, 2022, 12 year old Jayla Mae Warren disappeared from her foster home in Portland Oregon. She is five feet six inches tall, weighs 110 pounds, is black, and has brown eyes and black hair. She typically wears sweatpants and tank tops. The Oregon...

4.4 Magnitude Earthquake Near Sweet Home Friday Morning

4.4 Magnitude Earthquake Near Sweet Home Friday Morning

Sweet Home, Oregon - A 4.4 magnitude earthquake hit near Sweet Home, Oregon, just before 6 am Friday morning, according to the U.S. The earthquake was officially recorded at 5:52am. Geological Survey. Over the past 24 hours, Sweet Home had 3 small quakes between...

OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

OSP Warns of ‘Armed and Dangerous’ Suspect in Oregon

Update: BREAKING NEWS-Just released from the Harney County Sheriff's Office, suspect that was involved in yesterday's high speed vehicle chase which started in Salt Lake City, Utah has been caught. We will update when more information becomes available. (via Elkhorn...

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

Satellite Images Capture Ravages of Oregon Wildfires

The Oregon wildfires have now made national news as the Cedar Creek Fire, which has quadrupled in size, is one of 21 fires currently burning in Oregon. According to NPR, the Cedar ACreek Wildfire is said to be the largest currently ablaze. Space.com recently posted...

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