News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Wife Deploys Tactical Rib Jab in Final Attempt to End Husband’s Snoring

MONROE, OR — In the early hours of Wednesday morning, local woman Emily Patterson reportedly launched what experts are calling a "precision-targeted rib jab" into the soft flank of her peacefully unconscious husband, Greg, in a final, desperate effort to end what has been described by neighbors as...

Oregon Capitol Swaps Gold Man for Dad Bod Guy Holding a Vape to Better Represent the Future

SALEM, OR — In a historic and absolutely necessary move, Oregon officials have replaced the iconic Gold Man statue atop the State Capitol with a shirtless, vape-clutching dad bod guy, a bold tribute to the future of civilization. The new statue, affectionately dubbed “Rip the Pioneer”, stands in...

Fyre Festival 2 Promises to Strand Attendees Before They Even Arrive

Fyre Festival 2 is officially happening, and organizers are promising the most authentic festival experience yet—so authentic, in fact, that attendees should expect to be stranded before they even arrive. But this time, founder and convicted fraudster Billy McFarland wants everyone to know that...

‘I’m Good for One More’: 37-Year-Old Dad of Two Boldly Orders Another Round at 10:15 PM

“I’m good for one more,” said 37-year-old dad of two, Brad Simmons, at precisely 10:15 PM, stunning his coworkers into silence. Witnesses at O’Malley’s Pub reported that the statement was made with the kind of reckless optimism typically reserved for people in their mid-20s or those who still...

Oregon Braces for a Full Week of Raining Cats and Dogs – Local Shelters at Capacity

Oregon residents are in for a ruff week as meteorologists confirm that, yes, it will indeed be raining cats and dogs for the next seven days straight. With fluffy precipitation already falling in some areas, local shelters are struggling to keep up, and pet stores are reporting record sales of...
Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Yesterday the Mill fire raged through parts of Weed California, destroying many homes and prompting evacuations in Weed, Lake Shastina, Grenada, and other nearby areas. Today the fire is over 3,921 acres, and 20 percent contained. California recently secured a FEMA...

Fatal Crash On Highway 101 In Gleneden Beach Oregon

Fatal Crash On Highway 101 In Gleneden Beach Oregon

On August 15th, 2022 at 10:21 am there was an accident involving a dump truck with three fatalities on Highway 101 at Milepost 122 in Gleneden Beach Oregon. Depoe Bay Fire, Pacific West Ambulance, North Lincoln Fire, and Lincoln County Sheriffs responded. Life flight...

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