News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Portland Protesters Demand More Things to Protest

PORTLAND, OR — In a surprising show of unity, hundreds of Portland protesters gathered downtown Tuesday not to decry a specific issue, but to demand more things to be upset about. “Frankly, we’re running out,” said protester Kai Evergreen, who held a blank cardboard sign in silent defiance. “We’ve...

New Oregon Zip Line Debuts With Thrilling New Twist: Direct Collision With Tree

BEND, OR — In what Deschutes County officials are calling “an immersive forest engagement experience,” a new zip line attraction has opened just outside Bend — and instead of a smooth landing, it launches riders face-first into a very large pine tree. The ride, funded by an emergency eco-tourism...

Woman Asks If Jeans Make Her Look Fat, Already Decided They Do

TUALATIN, OR — In a shocking display of emotional choreography and predetermined self-loathing, 34-year-old Heather Cline asked her boyfriend for the 497th time if her jeans made her look fat, despite having already rendered a silent, irrevocable verdict of “yes” the moment she buttoned them. “I...

Pale Little Oregon Man Spotted in Tank Top; Witnesses in Troutdale Call It “Too Soon”

TROUTDALE, OR — In a shocking display of seasonal overconfidence, local man Darren Melby was reportedly seen walking down Main Street in a salmon-pink tank top Thursday morning, sending townsfolk into a mild panic and causing three drivers to swerve. “He was just out there, arms fully exposed like...

Doctors Confirm You’re Technically Still Alive, Just Tired Forever After Age 36

ATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking new report released Friday, doctors from the National Institute of Realistic Health confirmed that individuals over the age of 36 are, in fact, technically still alive—though most are now operating in a permanent state of exhaustion, emotionally numb caffeine...
Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Hey there, fellow Oregonians! Just a heads up for anyone planning to hit the road soon – Highway 101 is currently off-limits between Seaside and Cannon Beach Junction. Why, you ask? Well, we're dealing with some serious flooding here, thanks to the atmospheric river...

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

In a significant legal development, Harney County's Circuit Court Judge, Robert S. Raschio, recently ruled that Oregon's Measure 114, a gun safety law approved by voters, is unconstitutional. This ruling resulted in a permanent injunction, effectively pausing the...

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

In a recent announcement, the Oregon Wildlife and Fisheries Department declared a special opportunity for outdoor enthusiasts in Oregon. Following the Thanksgiving holiday, the state will host complimentary fishing days. From November 24th to 25th, fishing enthusiasts...

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