News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

80s Babies Rejoice As ‘From A Hose’ Bottled Water Finally Hits Store Shelves

U.S. — In a move hailed as “the greatest beverage innovation since Tang,” Crystal Stream announced today the release of their new limited-edition bottled water flavor, “From A Hose,” sending shockwaves of nostalgia through millions of Americans born in the 1980s. The product promises to deliver...

Parents Announce Baby Was Born Seed Oil-Free, Plan to Raise Him on Rainwater and Beef Tallow

PORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents Chad and Sage Turner of Forest Grove proudly announced that their newborn son, Braven, entered the world completely free of seed oils — a triumph they say was made possible...

New Study Finds 100% of Deer Crossing Roads Really Could Give a Crap Less

UNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads, 100% of deer really could give a crap less. Researchers at Oregon State University spent six months observing deer behavior on highways, backroads, and suburban streets...

Oregon Reassures Residents After Cyberattack: ‘Don’t Worry, Your Data’s Probably Fine, Maybe, Who Knows.’

SALEM, OR — After hackers dumped 1.3 million files from the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality onto the dark web, state officials quickly reassured the public with the kind of soothing, half-hearted optimism that has become an Oregon trademark: "Don't worry, your data's probably fine,...

Sources Confirm Neighborhood Child Might Even Go Outside This Weekend

U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike. Brandon, best known for spending 18 to 22 hours a day locked...
The Most Common Birds In Oregon (A Helpful Guide)

The Most Common Birds In Oregon (A Helpful Guide)

Oregon, a haven for bird enthusiasts, is home to a diverse array of Oregon birds, from the vibrant Western Tanager to the stealthy Swainson’s Thrush. With this rich diversity comes the responsibility to promote bird conservation and ensure these beautiful creatures...

Oregon Retiree Strikes Gold with $1M Powerball Win!

Oregon Retiree Strikes Gold with $1M Powerball Win!

In a thrilling revelation, a resident of Mill City, Oregon recently discovered a golden ticket worth $1 million! This captivating tale unfolds from a simple routine check on the Powerball numbers, which has now turned the life of one retiree and his wife upside-down,...

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