News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Man Narrowly Escapes Barista’s ‘So, Any Fun Plans Today?’ Over Garbage Mumble Rap Song

SPRINGFIELD, OR — A local man successfully executed a highly strategic window roll-up maneuver this morning, narrowly avoiding both an excessively friendly Dutch Bros barista and the ear-piercing bass of yet another shitty mumble rap track. Eyewitnesses report that 35-year-old Michael Davidson, a...

Voted Best Place for Sunbathing, Oregon Coast Proudly Embraces its 1 Day of Summer

In a development that has surprised absolutely no one, the Oregon Coast has been voted the best place for sunbathing in 2025. The announcement was made by the Totally Legit Travel Awards committee, who, after an extensive survey of places with cold wind, relentless rain, and the occasional 42...

Cat’s Patience Wearing Thin as Litter Box Remains Uncleaned

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Local feline resident and self-proclaimed ruler of the household, Mr. Whiskers, is reportedly reaching his breaking point over the state of his litter box. Sources close to the cat say his patience is wearing thin as his human, Becky Thompson, continues to neglect what Mr....

Greater Idaho Plans Halted: “We Won’t Let The Devil’s Lettuce Corrupt Our Righteous State”

In a shocking yet somehow predictable turn of events, Idaho has officially pulled out of the Greater Idaho Movement, citing grave concerns over what officials have dubbed “the Devil’s Garden of Unholy Plants” festering just across the state line in Oregon. “We had a vision,” explained Idaho’s...

Forgotten Laundry Basket Scheduled for Relocation Delayed Due to Lack of Motivation

In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately known by the household as...
Major Storm About To Pound Oregon On Friday The 13th

Major Storm About To Pound Oregon On Friday The 13th

The strongest storm we have seen since last winter is headed for the Pacific Northwest, according to meteorologists with AccuWeather said Wednesday. According to The Oregonian, by Friday afternoon the powerful storm has the potential to bring down trees, clog storm...

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