News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Man Who Identifies as Turtle Requests Residency at Oregon Zoo, Cites ‘Natural Habitat’

PORTLAND, OR — Local man Brian “Snappy” Thompson has officially petitioned the Oregon Zoo to recognize his true identity as a turtle and grant him permanent residency in the reptile exhibit. “I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a turtle trapped in a human’s body,” said Thompson, who arrived at...

Fast Food Worker Accidentally Gives Customer Every Sauce He Requested

A local man is struggling to comprehend reality after an unthinkable event at a fast food drive-thru last night. Jacob Thompson, 34, ordered a simple meal at a nearby McDonalds, fully expecting to engage in the traditional battle of wills over condiments. But when he opened his bag, he was met...

Springfield to Get Two More Car Washes, Leaving Local Residents Absolutely Speechless with Joy

SPRINGFIELD, OREGON—Local residents can finally breathe a sigh of relief as city officials have approved the construction of two brand-new car washes, bringing the city’s already impressive total to way too many. With this latest addition, locals will have even more opportunities to spend a small...

Oregon to Replace Stop Signs with ‘Gentle Suggestions’ to Avoid ‘Harmful Command Language’

‘Telling Cars When to Stop Is a Form of Road Privilege’ Oregon has officially banned stop signs in an effort to create a more inclusive and emotionally safe driving experience. According to the state’s Department of Transportation, the word “STOP” is simply too aggressive and could be perceived as...

Trump Suggests Adding His Face to Mount Rushmore, Proposes ‘Executive Order’ to Expedite

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested—and seemingly succeeded in—adding his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his "tremendous" accomplishments, "record-breaking presidency," and "undeniably perfect jawline." According to sources close to the...
New Wildfires in Klamath County And Near Mount Hood

New Wildfires in Klamath County And Near Mount Hood

Two new wildfires have been reported in Oregon this weekend, and one of them has triggered, 'Go Now' evacuation orders for nearby residents. S-503 Fire Near Mount Hood Oregon The new S-503 wildfire southeast of Mount Hood is currently estimated at 800 acres and is...

Lincoln City 4th Of July Fireworks Show Returns For 2021

Lincoln City 4th Of July Fireworks Show Returns For 2021

After a brutal and frankly pretty depressing 2020, there is some glimmer of hope with things slowly returning to being fully open again in Oregon. According to the latest, the 4th of July show that's normally held every year in Lincoln City on the Oregon Coast is...

Jaw-Dropping Orca Sightings Skyrocket All Over Oregon Coast

Jaw-Dropping Orca Sightings Skyrocket All Over Oregon Coast

If you're ready to do some whale watching, you couldn't pick a perfect time to head to the Oregon Coast. As reported by Beach Connection and members of Facebook whale groups, whale sightings are through the roof. While killer whales are reported to be seen more than...

Otis Cafe On The Oregon Coast Is Back After Burning In 2019

Otis Cafe On The Oregon Coast Is Back After Burning In 2019

A local favorite, known as the Otis Cafe in the small coastal town of Otis has officially opened its doors again. Sadly, the cafe had burned down on Independence Day of 2019, which of course was a huge loss to so many who travel thousands of miles from all over just...

Astoria Sunday Market to Return to Oregon Coast May 9

Astoria Sunday Market to Return to Oregon Coast May 9

As some things look to be opening up again this summer, the Astoria Sunday Market is expected to fire up again in a few days just in time for the weekend, May 9. This will mark the 21st year for the popular market, which began in 2000. The market was formed to...

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