News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...

State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome

In a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach has now been filled with the Oregon Pioneer—better known as the Gold Man from atop the Oregon State Capitol. The swap, carried out under cover of...
Self-Service Gas In Oregon: Separating Fact From Fiction

Self-Service Gas In Oregon: Separating Fact From Fiction

Recently a new bill approving the legalization of self-serve gas was approved by Oregon Governor Tina Kotek. While many consider this a good thing, especially in rural areas, news surrounding the new bill has led to some confusion for Oregon drivers. Can you roll up...

X