In a rare moment of bipartisan unity, Americans across the political spectrum confirmed this week that the $4.99 Costco rotisserie chicken is the only thing keeping the United States from plunging into complete and irreversible economic ruin. Economists say the chicken’s miraculous ability to remain under five dollars for over a decade—despite inflation, supply chain crises, and a nationwide egg shortage—has become the final tether holding the U.S. economy together. “If that price ever goes...