News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...

State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome

In a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach has now been filled with the Oregon Pioneer—better known as the Gold Man from atop the Oregon State Capitol. The swap, carried out under cover of...
Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Portland Sued for Homeless Encampments Blocking Sidewalks

Ten Portlanders filed a class action lawsuit against the city September 6, alleging that the homeless encampments blocking the sidewalk violate the Americans with Disabilities Act. If successful, the lawsuit could force the city's hand in providing a much-needed,...

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Update: Mill Fire In Weed California Now Over 3,921 Acres

Yesterday the Mill fire raged through parts of Weed California, destroying many homes and prompting evacuations in Weed, Lake Shastina, Grenada, and other nearby areas. Today the fire is over 3,921 acres, and 20 percent contained. California recently secured a FEMA...

Fatal Crash On Highway 101 In Gleneden Beach Oregon

Fatal Crash On Highway 101 In Gleneden Beach Oregon

On August 15th, 2022 at 10:21 am there was an accident involving a dump truck with three fatalities on Highway 101 at Milepost 122 in Gleneden Beach Oregon. Depoe Bay Fire, Pacific West Ambulance, North Lincoln Fire, and Lincoln County Sheriffs responded. Life flight...

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