News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

‘I’m Good for One More’: 37-Year-Old Dad of Two Boldly Orders Another Round at 10:15 PM

“I’m good for one more,” said 37-year-old dad of two, Brad Simmons, at precisely 10:15 PM, stunning his coworkers into silence. Witnesses at O’Malley’s Pub reported that the statement was made with the kind of reckless optimism typically reserved for people in their mid-20s or those who still...

Oregon Braces for a Full Week of Raining Cats and Dogs – Local Shelters at Capacity

Oregon residents are in for a ruff week as meteorologists confirm that, yes, it will indeed be raining cats and dogs for the next seven days straight. With fluffy precipitation already falling in some areas, local shelters are struggling to keep up, and pet stores are reporting record sales of...

Man Who Identifies as Turtle Requests Residency at Oregon Zoo, Cites ‘Natural Habitat’

PORTLAND, OR — Local man Brian “Snappy” Thompson has officially petitioned the Oregon Zoo to recognize his true identity as a turtle and grant him permanent residency in the reptile exhibit. “I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a turtle trapped in a human’s body,” said Thompson, who arrived at...

Fast Food Worker Accidentally Gives Customer Every Sauce He Requested

A local man is struggling to comprehend reality after an unthinkable event at a fast food drive-thru last night. Jacob Thompson, 34, ordered a simple meal at a nearby McDonalds, fully expecting to engage in the traditional battle of wills over condiments. But when he opened his bag, he was met...

Springfield to Get Two More Car Washes, Leaving Local Residents Absolutely Speechless with Joy

SPRINGFIELD, OREGON—Local residents can finally breathe a sigh of relief as city officials have approved the construction of two brand-new car washes, bringing the city’s already impressive total to way too many. With this latest addition, locals will have even more opportunities to spend a small...
Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

With snow dumping and high winds in the Columbia River Gorge, multiple sources are reporting Interstate 84 has been closed in both directions at milepost 17 in Troutdale to milepost 82 near The Dalles. The Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) closed the section...

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

With heavy snow right now in Oregon (at least heavy for us), I thought it would be a good time to offer some useful tips on how to drive in the snow. Driving in the snow can be challenging, even for many of us who have a lot of experience driving through the white...

Flood Watch in Effect for Large Portions of Western Oregon

Flood Watch in Effect for Large Portions of Western Oregon

According to NOAA, flooding caused by excessive rainfall is possible from 1am Sunday 12/19 through Monday 12/20. Areas affected could include the Central Oregon Coast, Central Coast Range of Western Oregon, Central Willamette Valley, South Willamette Valley, and the...

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