News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’

PALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the deep state, former President Donald Trump announced a bold new plan to reshape the American holiday calendar by adding two new national holidays: “We’re the Best Day” and “Other Countries Are...

Portland Protesters Demand More Things to Protest

PORTLAND, OR — In a surprising show of unity, hundreds of Portland protesters gathered downtown Tuesday not to decry a specific issue, but to demand more things to be upset about. “Frankly, we’re running out,” said protester Kai Evergreen, who held a blank cardboard sign in silent defiance. “We’ve...

New Oregon Zip Line Debuts With Thrilling New Twist: Direct Collision With Tree

BEND, OR — In what Deschutes County officials are calling “an immersive forest engagement experience,” a new zip line attraction has opened just outside Bend — and instead of a smooth landing, it launches riders face-first into a very large pine tree. The ride, funded by an emergency eco-tourism...

Woman Asks If Jeans Make Her Look Fat, Already Decided They Do

TUALATIN, OR — In a shocking display of emotional choreography and predetermined self-loathing, 34-year-old Heather Cline asked her boyfriend for the 497th time if her jeans made her look fat, despite having already rendered a silent, irrevocable verdict of “yes” the moment she buttoned them. “I...

Pale Little Oregon Man Spotted in Tank Top; Witnesses in Troutdale Call It “Too Soon”

TROUTDALE, OR — In a shocking display of seasonal overconfidence, local man Darren Melby was reportedly seen walking down Main Street in a salmon-pink tank top Thursday morning, sending townsfolk into a mild panic and causing three drivers to swerve. “He was just out there, arms fully exposed like...
Court Battle Over New Oregon Gun Control Law Still Ongoing

Court Battle Over New Oregon Gun Control Law Still Ongoing

On November 8th, 2022, Oregonians voted to pass Measure 114, a new law that would change requirements to purchase and own a firearm. This measure was supposed to go into effect on December 8th, 2022, but as of January 4th, 2023, the measure has not gone into effect,...

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