News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature

WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the spontaneous emergence of a glow-in-the-dark humanoid creature from the depths of the notoriously murky Willamette River. According to witnesses, the creature,...

Oregon Man’s Depression Downgraded from “Crippling” to “Moody” After Full Day of Sunshine

Creswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching your jaw,” local man Kyle Benson’s depression was officially downgraded from crippling to merely moody following an unprecedented full day of sunshine in Stayton, Oregon. The...

Portland Family Says Final Goodbyes to Dad Who Bravely Drank From Benson Bubbler

PORTLAND, OR — A local family is in mourning after 44-year-old Ron Breckman tragically passed away this week following what experts are calling “a reckless and ultimately fatal decision” to drink directly from a downtown Portland Benson Bubbler. “He just leaned in and drank,” said his wife, Susan...

Report: Someone Needs to Quiet That Sniveling Brat Immediately

SALEM, OR — A routine grocery run at the WinCo Foods off Commercial Street in Salem turned into a full-blown auditory crisis Friday morning after a local child—described by witnesses as "small but emotionally explosive"—unleashed a battle cry somewhere between a velociraptor and a foghorn near the...

Bill Could Make Cellphone Use in Oregon Classrooms a Thing of the Past

A statewide ban on cell phones in Oregon’s K-12 classrooms could soon be on the books, following years of discussion and rising concern over the impact of personal devices on student learning and well-being. On Wednesday, March 26, the House Committee on Education held a public hearing on House...
Oregon Ranks Fourth in Pumpkin Spice Latte Obsession, But Why?

Oregon Ranks Fourth in Pumpkin Spice Latte Obsession, But Why?

The leaves haven’t even started their colorful autumn transition, and yet there's already a buzz about pumpkin spice lattes. And not surprisingly (or maybe surprisingly for some of us), Oregon has been identified as the 4th most pumpkin spice latte-obsessed state in a...

Oregon Among the Top Five States for Skyrocketing Home Prices

Oregon Among the Top Five States for Skyrocketing Home Prices

Portland, Ore. – With the real estate market in constant flux, recent research by SelfStorage, an online self-storage finder, has shed light on the states experiencing the most significant upticks in home prices. While Idaho stole the limelight with an astonishing...

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