News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

BREAKING: Portland Resident Offended by This Headline and Also the Word ‘Resident’

PORTLAND, OR — Chaos erupted in a local community Slack channel today after a Portland man reportedly became deeply offended by the headline of an article that hadn’t even been written yet. Sources confirm that 32-year-old River Moss-Fernwood (they/them), who identifies as post-geographic and...

UnitedHealthcare Announces Bold New Plan To Cover Nothing

MINNETONKA, MN — In a daring move sure to disrupt the healthcare industry, UnitedHealthcare unveiled its most ambitious policy overhaul yet: a bold new plan to cover absolutely nothing. “We’ve listened to our customers,” said CEO Clive E. Denial, during a press conference held in a padded room...

Heavenly Gates Swing Open After Val Kilmer Whispers “I’m Your Huckleberry” to the Intercom

In a moment theologians are already calling “the chillest entrance into the afterlife on record,” actor Val Kilmer ascended to Heaven yesterday and gained immediate entry by softly uttering his iconic Tombstone line — “I’m your huckleberry” — into a slightly outdated intercom system bolted to the...

Middle-Aged Man Confident He ‘Still Got It’ While Mouthing Entire Limp Bizkit Verse at Red Light

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that 43-year-old Tyler Blevins, divorced father of three and assistant manager at the Eugene AutoZone, radiated unshakable confidence while mouthing the entire second verse of Limp Bizkit’s “Re-Arranged” during his morning commute through downtown...

Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button

U.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental health experts have finally reached a consensus: rewatching The NeverEnding Story is the ultimate emotional reset button. “It’s cinematic therapy,” said Dr. Elise Monroe, a...
Heatwave Continues In Pacific Northwest As Salem Hits 117 Degrees

Heatwave Continues In Pacific Northwest As Salem Hits 117 Degrees

Oregon and Washington, along with several other states and parts of Canada have been baking in the historic heatwave this week. Sunday Canada broke it's high-temperature record when Lytton British Columbia reached 116 degrees. Monday Salem Oregon was listed as the...

Fireworks ban effective immediately in Bend through July 9

Fireworks ban effective immediately in Bend through July 9

In light of record-breaking temperatures and drought conditions in Oregon, the City of Bend is banning all fireworks, legal and illegal, effective immediately. The ban is reported to go through July 9, as a local state of emergency has been declared in response to the...

Watch as record-breaking heat literally cooks eggs in Oregon

Watch as record-breaking heat literally cooks eggs in Oregon

Things are literally cooking in Oregon with temperatures reaching well over 100. It's so hot, Portland even set a record for the hottest day ever recorded for two days in a row as the temperature hit 112. Yesterday, on June 27, Blurry Bits Photography decided to have...

New Wildfires in Klamath County And Near Mount Hood

New Wildfires in Klamath County And Near Mount Hood

Two new wildfires have been reported in Oregon this weekend, and one of them has triggered, 'Go Now' evacuation orders for nearby residents. S-503 Fire Near Mount Hood Oregon The new S-503 wildfire southeast of Mount Hood is currently estimated at 800 acres and is...

Lincoln City 4th Of July Fireworks Show Returns For 2021

Lincoln City 4th Of July Fireworks Show Returns For 2021

After a brutal and frankly pretty depressing 2020, there is some glimmer of hope with things slowly returning to being fully open again in Oregon. According to the latest, the 4th of July show that's normally held every year in Lincoln City on the Oregon Coast is...

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