A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to…
Cougars across Oregon are once again sounding the alarm as yet another human has wandered deep into the wilderness, completely unprepared and blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Local mountain lions, who have spent generations fine-tuning their survival instincts,…
Oregon has once again led the way in groundbreaking criminal justice reform by introducing its newest and toughest sentencing policy yet: Naughty Time. Under this bold initiative, criminals will no longer be subjected to outdated punishments like jail…
A MODERATELY DIFFICULT TRAIL, SOMEWHERE—What was supposed to be a refreshing morning hike quickly turned into a full-scale melodrama Saturday after local man Todd Reynolds, 44, dramatically collapsed onto a sunbaked rock just three minutes into the trail,…
Come and celebrate the biggest party on the Oregon Coast at the Newport Seafood & Wine Festival this winter! For 48 years, this iconic event has brought together locals and visitors alike to savor the best seafood and…
As reported by OPB, over the past five years, wildfires have scorched more than 36 million acres of land across the United States. But the destruction extends far beyond the burn zones—wildfire smoke travels hundreds, sometimes thousands, of…
Your City, USA — In a shocking turn of events that directly contradicts everything seen on television and social media, a local grocery store was reportedly filled with ordinary people shopping peacefully, with zero political arguments, ideological confrontations,…
A man in downtown Portland, spotted waving a machete in the air and passionately arguing with a lamppost, appears to be in dire need of a hug, according to multiple witnesses who observed the situation with a mix…
A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet…
PORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting extreme cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with some even exhibiting plant-like behaviors in desperate attempts to absorb any…
In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia…
WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s…
