‘Telling Cars When to Stop Is a Form of Road Privilege’ Oregon has officially banned stop signs in an effort to create a more inclusive and emotionally safe driving experience. According to the state’s Department of Transportation, the…
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested—and seemingly succeeded in—adding his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his "tremendous" accomplishments, "record-breaking presidency," and "undeniably perfect jawline." According to sources close to the…
Local woman Jessica Reynolds is beaming with pride after successfully keeping her car’s “Check Engine” light on for an impressive six years, setting what experts are calling a “remarkable new record in automotive neglect.” “I don’t even see…
Residents of Pine Hollow, Oregon, barely had time to recover from the ribbon-cutting of their 7th Dollar General before town officials announced the construction of store #8—directly across the street. The decision, described by Mayor Tom Wilkins as…
In a bold and completely normal security upgrade, Tesla has officially deployed fire-breathing robot dogs to patrol its dealerships nationwide. The flamethrower-equipped quadrupeds, affectionately dubbed "CyberHounds," have already proven to be highly effective at deterring crime, unwanted protests,…
PORTLAND, OR — Local couple Brian and Jessica Holloway were overjoyed to snag floor tickets to see their favorite band live, dropping a casual $1,200 for what they expected to be a magical night of music, love, and…
Gun control in the United States has never truly been about public safety—it has been about control. Throughout history, firearm restrictions have been disproportionately used to disarm Black Americans, marginalized communities, and anyone deemed a "threat" to the…
Oregon meteorologists have officially given up. After a week that included sunshine, rain, and snow—sometimes all in the same afternoon—local weather forecasters admitted they are now just blindly throwing darts at a weather map and hoping for the…
The coastal community of Newport is coming together in support of the family of Dane Paulsen, the 2-year-old boy who tragically went missing earlier this month and was recently found in the Siletz River. As the Paulsen family…
PORTLAND, Ore. — In yet another attack on the Second Amendment, Oregon’s State Court of Appeals has ruled Measure 114 constitutional, setting the stage for one of the most restrictive gun control laws in the country to go…
The Forest Grove Police Department has identified the missing children as 7-year-old Jenessa Brunk, 7-year-old Haven Hinerman, and 9-week-old Declan Hinerman. Investigators say the children were taken from their home in Forest Grove and are believed to be…
Update (2:45pm): Since we originally reported on the discovery of a child’s body in Siletz, the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office has now confirmed that the remains belong to missing toddler Dane Paulsen. Dane was found deceased in the…
