Florence Museum Director Gets No Jail Time for Sexually Abusing 15-Year-Old Girl
Oregon parents are furious after KVAL News reported that Geoffrey Cannon, the former director of the Oregon Coast Military Museum in Florence, received no jail time for sexually abusing a 15 year old volunteer. Cannon was charged with four counts of second degree sex abuse, each one carrying up to five years in prison. Instead, he walked out with five years of supervised probation. The plea deal shocked the victim’s family, local parents, and anyone who has been paying attention to how far...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Lincoln City Launches Drone Show in First Firework-Free Fourth of July on the Oregon Coast
If you’re anything like me, the Fourth of July has always meant one thing: fireworks. The rumble in your chest, the sulfur in the air, the oohs and ahhs from the crowd as brilliant explosions light...
FBI Rejoins Kyron Horman Investigation as Thousands of Case Files Go Digital
Nearly 15 years after Kyron Horman vanished from Skyline Elementary School in Portland, Oregon, the case is receiving renewed attention. The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office, in collaboration with...
Don’t Confuse Wildlife Safari in Winston With the Horror Show That Was West Coast Game Park Safari
This past week, Oregon made national headlines for all the wrong reasons. More than 300 animals were seized from the West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon after authorities uncovered a nightmare...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
The Shari’s We Once Knew Is Gone, and Its Empty Buildings Are Up for Grabs
PORTLAND, Ore. – If you ever spent a late night at Shari’s, chain-smoking cigarettes and nursing bottomless coffee refills in the ‘90s, this one stings. Shari’s Café & Pies—once a beacon of...
Bigger, Bolder, Better: Pioneer Joe Coffee Becomes the Largest Roaster on the Oregon Coast
The Oregon Coast has long been synonymous with stunning ocean views, quaint coastal towns, and a vibrant sense of community. Now, coffee enthusiasts in Lincoln City have another reason to celebrate:...
How To Master The Art of Pretending To Love IPA’s Even Though They Taste Like Citrusy Armpit Sweat
So, you’ve found yourself in Oregon, the land of towering evergreens, infinite Columbia Sportswear jackets, and an IPA selection that makes most 5-star Michelin restaurant wine lists look concise....
Local Man Casually Stands at Edge of Lawn for 45 Minutes Just to Let Everyone Know He Did That
BEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at the edge of his freshly mowed lawn, arms crossed and chin slightly elevated, just long enough for every neighbor within visual range...
Sad: Oregon Creamery’s Full Tub of Ice Cream Now Just a Tiny Micro-Pint Thanks to Inflation
OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so small it legally qualifies as a sample. The...
Oregon Democrats Introduce Bill to Replace Axe Throwing With Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss
SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something more emotionally enriching: the Safe Space...
M&Ms To Be Coated With Kale Slime Following New Ban on Food Dyes
U.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that all colorful M&Ms will now be coated in a thick layer of organic kale slime following HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s sweeping ban on...
New Study: Meth Users Found to Be World’s Leading Experts in Unattended Tool Acquisition
EUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now the world’s foremost experts in unattended tool acquisition, also known in some legal circles as “theft.” The study, conducted by researchers who asked to...
Tina Kotek Shocks Oregon By Coming Out As Gay Moments After Coming Out As Gay
SALEM, OR — In a shocking and emotional press conference that rocked the state’s political establishment to its core, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek announced Tuesday that she is gay — again — just moments after announcing the same thing. “I just want to live my truth,”...
City of Corvallis Now Requires At Least Four Pronouns to Enter City Limits
CORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for gender-diverse individuals — and with it, implemented a new entry requirement: visitors must now present at least...
Local Dad’s Confidence Skyrockets After Snagging $24.99 Camo Shorts at Target
ESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak seasonal confidence Thursday afternoon after purchasing a pair of $24.99 camo cargo shorts from the Target clearance rack. Witnesses say...
Oregon High Schools Lower Graduation Bar to Just Reciting the Alphabet
“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address persistent educational challenges, Oregon's education officials have announced a new graduation requirement: high school seniors must now recite the alphabet to...
Hood River County Sees 3 Cases of Deadly Brain Disease with No Known Link
A rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County, Oregon — a statistical anomaly that has local health officials scrambling for answers. As reported by Live Science, one case of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD)...