FORT ROCK, OR — Archaeologists working near the site of Oregon’s famed ancient sandals have stumbled upon a curious metallic object of unknown function, believed to date back to the late 1970s—a time period researchers refer to as “post-Woodstock but pre-Reagan, culturally speaking.” The object, small enough to fit in the palm of one’s hand, features a shallow bowl-shaped opening, a tubular body with textured grip, and what experts are calling “a suspiciously chill aura.” “We can’t say exactly...