BEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at the edge of his freshly mowed lawn, arms crossed and chin slightly elevated, just long enough for every neighbor within visual range to know—without question—that he mowed that lawn. “He wasn’t doing anything,” said neighbor Marcy Jensen. “Just standing there. Not even checking for missed spots. Just… existing in his own glory.” Witnesses report that Brian’s...