In a move that perfectly embodies everything you feared after the election but told yourself to “wait and see,” the people you now deeply regret voting for held an emergency meeting today—not to fix potholes, homelessness, or anything remotely useful—but to invent entirely new taxes. The gathering, referred to internally as the “Creative Revenue Solutions Roundtable,” kicked off at 8:00 a.m. sharp in Salem and lasted roughly six hours, with zero bathroom breaks and unlimited organic pastries...