U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike.
Brandon, best known for spending 18 to 22 hours a day locked in mortal combat with strangers on Fortnite and creating elaborate “Obby Deathrun” maps on Roblox, allegedly mentioned going outside during a brief conversation with his mother — though experts caution this could have been sarcastic.
“We don’t want to get our hopes up,” said Brandon’s mother, standing by a window hoping for any sign of movement. “Last month he said he was going to ‘touch grass’ and it turned out he was just watching a VR nature walk on YouTube.”
As part of a bold new strategy, Brandon’s parents recently tried to entice him into visiting an actual real-life Oregon waterfall.
“We even showed him a photo of Silver Falls on my phone and told him it was just like Minecraft but with mist,” said his dad. “He asked if there was WiFi. When we said no, he just laughed and went back to building a digital Wendy’s in Roblox.”
Eyewitnesses report that Brandon was seen slowly approaching the front door earlier today before abruptly retreating when he remembered there was a new Fortnite skin dropping at noon.
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“We almost had him,” said a tearful neighbor. “He made it all the way to the porch.”
According to family insiders, a complex list of demands has been submitted by Brandon before he agrees to venture outdoors, including:
- Full parental WiFi hotspot coverage
- A portable charger capable of sustaining six hours of YouTube Shorts
- Assurance that the trip would not exceed 12 minutes unless absolutely necessary
At press time, Brandon was reportedly negotiating terms of the outdoor expedition via Discord, while simultaneously livestreaming his negotiations on Twitch under the username “xX_MountainDewLord_Xx.”
