SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was the 86th time this year. Dave, who hasn’t made direct eye contact with his wife since Plant #42, reportedly nodded slowly while dissociating into a void of macramé hangers and grow lights. “She says this one’s a ‘low-maintenance cutie with climbing potential,’ which is also...