News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

“Eugene Squirrels Are Straight-Up Trippin’ After Being Fed Psilocybin Mushrooms,” Officials Say

EUGENE, OR — City officials are urging residents to stop feeding psychedelic mushrooms to local squirrels, after what one parks employee described as a “full-blown squirrel consciousness shift” unfolded near the duck pond at Alton Baker Park earlier this week. “We’ve seen a dramatic uptick in...

Weekend BBQ Plans Proceed as Dad Secures Down Payment on Ribeyes

SWEET HOME, OR — After weeks of intense financial planning and one extremely awkward meeting with a steak loan officer, local dad Ron Beckett has officially secured a down payment on two USDA Choice ribeye steaks—just in time for his long-awaited weekend BBQ. “We had to move some things around,”...

Parents Sit Teen Down for “American Dream Talk,” Gently Explain He’ll Be Renting a Carpeted Garage Corner for $2,400

Salem, Oregon — In a moving display of parental love mixed with economic nihilism, local couple Doug and Melissa Jenkins sat their 17-year-old son Caleb down Tuesday night for what they solemnly called “The American Dream Talk”—a beloved Jenkins family tradition in which hopes are dashed in...

That Methy Neighbor Wearing Headlamp at 2:30AM Is Just One Bolt Away From Wrapping It Up

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Residents of a quiet suburban street were once again reassured by the familiar clanking of socket wrenches and muttered profanity echoing through the neighborhood as that really cool methy neighbor resumed work on his eternally disassembled Honda Civic at exactly 2:30AM. Armed...

Bend Transplant Really Getting Sick of Californians Acting Like They Belong Here Too

BEND, OR — Brad Collins, a proud Bend transplant who moved from San Diego just 13 months ago, is reportedly really getting sick of all the Californians flooding into town like they own the place. “Everywhere I look it’s Teslas, goldendoodles, and someone in a Patagonia vest talking loudly about...
6.4-magnitude Earthquake Rocks Northern California

6.4-magnitude Earthquake Rocks Northern California

An earthquake hit coastal Northern California early Tuesday, which was reportedly 10 miles deep near Eureka in Humboldt County. The quake hit around 2:30 am, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, just 7.4 miles west-southwest of Ferndale.   Road Closure: State...

Federal Judge Rules Measure 114 Will Move Forward in Oregon

Federal Judge Rules Measure 114 Will Move Forward in Oregon

Measure 114 which narrowly passed in Oregon, is set to take effect Thursday as planned. The new law, said to be the strictest in the nation, will ban ammunition magazines holding more than 10 rounds, as well as require a gun permit to purchase a firearm. On Tuesday...

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