News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Oregon Named Best State To Raise A Little Free-Range Anarchist With A Trust Fund

PORTLAND, OR — In news that surprised absolutely no one and disappointed absolutely everyone’s grandparents, Oregon has officially been named the best state to raise a little free-range anarchist with a trust fund. The groundbreaking report, issued by the National Institute for Highly Specific...

Prineville Proudly Becomes First Sanctuary City for Straight White Men

PRINEVILLE, OR — In a historic move celebrated by men who still know how to change a tire, Prineville has officially declared itself the first Sanctuary City for Straight White Men in Oregon — and maybe the last safe place left west of Idaho. The resolution, passed unanimously on April 24, comes...

80s Babies Rejoice As ‘From A Hose’ Bottled Water Finally Hits Store Shelves

U.S. — In a move hailed as “the greatest beverage innovation since Tang,” Crystal Stream announced today the release of their new limited-edition bottled water flavor, “From A Hose,” sending shockwaves of nostalgia through millions of Americans born in the 1980s. The product promises to deliver...

Parents Announce Baby Was Born Seed Oil-Free, Plan to Raise Him on Rainwater and Beef Tallow

PORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents Chad and Sage Turner of Forest Grove proudly announced that their newborn son, Braven, entered the world completely free of seed oils — a triumph they say was made possible...

New Study Finds 100% of Deer Crossing Roads Really Could Give a Crap Less

UNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads, 100% of deer really could give a crap less. Researchers at Oregon State University spent six months observing deer behavior on highways, backroads, and suburban streets...
Oregon Among the Top Five States for Skyrocketing Home Prices

Oregon Among the Top Five States for Skyrocketing Home Prices

Portland, Ore. – With the real estate market in constant flux, recent research by SelfStorage, an online self-storage finder, has shed light on the states experiencing the most significant upticks in home prices. While Idaho stole the limelight with an astonishing...

Poachers in Oregon Now Face Jail During Elk Season

Poachers in Oregon Now Face Jail During Elk Season

The majestic landscapes of Oregon, bursting with lush forests and abundant wildlife, have long been the pride of its residents. From the casual hiker to the dedicated hunter, all treasure the state’s wildlife - which is why the poaching crime spree near Pendleton, OR,...

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