NEWPORT, Ore. — In what experts are already calling “the most Oregon thing to ever happen,” Nabisco has officially partnered with the coastal town of Newport to release a new flavor nobody asked for but everyone is now weirdly curious about: Limited Edition Dungeness Crab Stuffed Oreos.
The cookies, unveiled Tuesday morning on the Newport waterfront next to a pile of crab pots and at least three confused seagulls, feature the classic chocolate Oreo wafers stuffed with what Nabisco describes as a “savory-sweet coastal cream infused with authentic Oregon Dungeness crab.”
Early reviews have ranged from “absolutely revolting” to “honestly… not terrible?”
“We wanted to capture the spirit of the Oregon Coast in a single bite,” said one Nabisco spokesperson while visibly struggling to swallow one during a live press conference. “And what better way than combining America’s favorite cookie with the Pacific Northwest’s favorite sea creature?”
According to the company, the idea was born after executives visited Newport during crab season and reportedly saw tourists dipping Oreos into clam chowder “as a joke.” Within months, a full research team was assembled.
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The limited-edition package reportedly includes:
- Tiny bits of real Dungeness crab
- A hint of sea salt
- Notes of butter
- “Just a whisper” of garlic
- And enough confusion to destroy family road trips for generations
Locals in Newport appear divided.
“I hate this with every fiber of my being,” said one crab fisherman while purchasing six packages “just to mess with people.”
Meanwhile, Portland food influencers are already calling the cookies “bold,” “unexpected,” and “a haunting commentary on coastal identity.”
One TikTok reviewer described the flavor as “like eating seafood Alfredo immediately after brushing your teeth.”
Despite the backlash, stores across Oregon sold out within hours Tuesday after customers began panic-buying packs as gag gifts. Several eBay listings had already appeared by noon with prices reaching nearly $200 per package.
Tourism officials say the collaboration is expected to boost spring travel to the Oregon coast, especially in Newport, where visitors can now enjoy fresh seafood, ocean views, and the lingering psychological damage of tasting crab cream sandwiched between chocolate cookies.
In response to criticism online, Nabisco doubled down with a statement Wednesday morning:
“Oregonians have always embraced innovation. Also, you people willingly put tuna on pizza crust made from cauliflower. Let’s not pretend there are rules anymore.”
The company also hinted at future Pacific Northwest flavors currently in development, including:
- Marionberry Ranch Oreos
- Smoked Salmon Golden Oreos
- IPA-Flavored Double Stuf
- And a seasonal Voodoo Doughnut collab described only as “legally concerning”
As of publication, emergency rooms across Oregon had reported zero injuries related to the cookies, though one man in Eugene allegedly traded a kayak for two unopened packs.
Nabisco says Crab Stuffed Oreos will remain available “while supplies last, or until society corrects itself.”
