Portland Ditches July 4 Fireworks, Adds Emotional Support Tents And Community Cry Circle
PORTLAND, Ore. – While the rest of America spent Independence Day celebrating 250 years of freedom with fireworks, cookouts, parades, and enough red, white, and blue decorations to empty every Party City in the country, Portland reportedly decided to take a more “inclusive” approach. City leaders this week unveiled the Unity Celebration, an alternative festival designed to provide residents with a quieter, more emotionally validating way to observe July 4. The biggest change? Fireworks have...
THINGS TO DO & EVENTS
Festivals, concerts, seasonal celebrations, and memorable Oregon adventures worth putting on your calendar.Fresh ideas for getting out and enjoying Oregon, from upcoming community events to unforgettable places and experiences around the state.
South Oregon Coast Revels in Bandon’s 77th Annual Cranberry Festival
The picturesque town of Bandon, Oregon, often associated humorously with cranberries for its rhyming allure, is once again set to host its annual celebration of the region's rich cranberry heritage....
The Oldest County Fair In Oregon Is Just A Few Days Away!
This county fair is the oldest in Oregon and after 169 years, knows how to give you the timeless fair experience everyone should have at least once.
Join the Fun in Brownsville and Celebrate Stand By Me Day on July 23rd
Released 37 years ago, the classic movie Stand By Me featuring Wil Wheaton is being celebrated on July 23rd in Brownsville, Oregon with Stand By Me Day. The event pays homage not only to the well...
Report: Some People Are Dying
In what experts are calling “technically not new, but still sort of a bummer,” reports are surfacing that some people, in fact, are dying. The revelation has stunned absolutely no one, yet continues...
Eugene Federal Building Hosts Fall’s Most Exclusive Umbrella Fashion Week
EUGENE, Ore. — Fall fashion week found an unlikely stage Tuesday night as the Eugene Federal Building transformed into the runway for a daring new streetwear collection featuring oversized black...
Experts Confirm Portland The Gayest City, Seattle Demands Recount
PORTLAND, OR — After years of speculation, arguments at Pride festivals, and bitter rainbow flag one-upmanship, a panel of travel magazine experts officially declared Portland the gayest city in...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
People Say This Oregon Pizzeria Nails Authentic New York–Style Pizza
Serving up authentic NYC-style Sicilian pizza, New York Squares in Independence, Oregon, offers fresh, made-to-order pies with high-quality ingredients and unmatched flavor in every bite.
This Oregon Coast Donut Shop is So Popular, the Shelves Are Bare by Mid-Morning
Handmade with care and premium ingredients, Lincoln City Donuts And Coffee draws early-morning crowds and sells out fast.
Yelp Names 15 Oregon Food Carts Among the Best in the Country
Look, we get it—Yelp insists on calling them “food trucks,” but here in Oregon, we know the truth: they’re food carts, and we love them like family. And apparently, the rest of the country is...
Governor Kotek Consults Psychic Medium to Finally Get a Response from Trump
SALEM, OR — Frustrated by the complete lack of communication from the Trump administration regarding Oregon’s frozen federal funding, Governor Tina Kotek has taken an unconventional approach: hiring a psychic medium to establish contact with President Trump. "We've...
Local Man in Shock After Seeing California Driver Properly Use Blinker
EUGENE, OR — Local resident Kevin Dawson is reportedly still in a state of disbelief after witnessing what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” on I-5: a California driver properly using a turn signal. “I almost drove off the road,” said Dawson, still visibly...
New Law Requires Drivers to Telepathically Predict Cyclists’ Next Move
Portland’s latest progressive traffic law aims to bridge the “understanding gap” between drivers and cyclists PORTLAND, OR – In an unprecedented move that solidifies Portland’s status as the nation's most bike-friendly city, local officials have passed a controversial...
Oregon Breakfast Joints Insist You Bring Your Own Eggs—Or Indulge in Their ‘Invisible Omelet’
Oregon diners looking forward to a hearty breakfast might need to start checking their fridges before heading out. In a move that perfectly captures the spirit of desperate times, desperate measures, several Oregon breakfast joints have announced a new "BYOE" (Bring...
Boss at Home Genuinely Cares About Your Safety As Roads Ice Over, Suggests Leaving Earlier
In a heartwarming display of corporate compassion, local work-from-home boss Greg Daniels—cozy in his flannel pajama pants—has reassured his employees that the roads “aren’t that bad,” despite a winter storm dumping over six feet of snow overnight, transforming the...
REPORT: Oregonians See First Snowflake, Immediately Forget How to Drive, Walk, and Function
OREGON – In a shocking turn of events that happens literally every single year, Oregonians have once again been caught completely off guard by the arrival of snow. Despite meteorologists warning of an incoming winter storm for a week, the state collectively gasped in...
Oregon State Parks Introduce Monthly Hiking Plans With New “TrailFlix” App
Hiking in Oregon just got a whole lot more exclusive. Following in the footsteps of every streaming service, gym membership, and software company, Oregon State Parks have unveiled a brand-new subscription model for accessing public trails, scenic viewpoints,...
Greater Idaho Expands: “We’re Taking All of Oregon, But Portland’s Getting Walled Off”
In a stunning turn of events, the Greater Idaho movement has thrown out its old map, crumpled it into a wad of regret, and decided to annex the entire state of Oregon—except Portland, which they claim is “too far gone” to save. “We realized we were thinking way too...
Facebook User Stunned to Discover His Rant Didn’t Instantly Change the Other Guy’s Mind
Boring, Oregon — In what experts are calling an unprecedented failure of logic and reason, a local man in Boring, Oregon, was left completely stunned after his lengthy, all-caps social media rant failed to immediately convince a stranger to change their entire...
Portland Decriminalizes Crime—Residents Now Required to Politely Ask Criminals to Stop
Faced with an unprecedented rise in crime, Portland’s City Council has taken decisive action—by officially decriminalizing all crime. In a unanimous vote on Tuesday night, officials opted to remove all criminal penalties from the books, arguing that traditional laws...