Oregon Governor Teases Possibility of Asking Voters First Before Approving Massive Legislation
SALEM, Ore. — In what political scientists are calling “the most shocking development since the invention of public comment,” Oregon Governor Tina Kotek reportedly suggested she may one day consider asking actual residents for input before approving enormous tax increases or signing multi-billion-dollar bills at the eleventh hour. The idea surfaced during a routine press appearance in which Kotek praised the efficiency of Oregon’s “lightning fast” legislative process, a system that famously...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Get Ready to Do the Truffle Shuffle! The Goonies 40th Anniversary Bash Is Coming to Astoria
Hey you guuuuys! Fire up your Data-style gadgets, pull out your map to One-Eyed Willy’s treasure, and grab a Baby Ruth because it’s time to head to Astoria, Oregon, for one of the most epic...
Lincoln City Launches Drone Show in First Firework-Free Fourth of July on the Oregon Coast
If you’re anything like me, the Fourth of July has always meant one thing: fireworks. The rumble in your chest, the sulfur in the air, the oohs and ahhs from the crowd as brilliant explosions light...
FBI Rejoins Kyron Horman Investigation as Thousands of Case Files Go Digital
Nearly 15 years after Kyron Horman vanished from Skyline Elementary School in Portland, Oregon, the case is receiving renewed attention. The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office, in collaboration with...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
People Drive From All Over Oregon To Indulge In The Ultimate Comfort Food At This Cozy Brewery
Tucked away in the small town of Monroe, Oregon, Long Timber Brewing Company is more than just a microbrewery and restaurant—it’s a tribute to the region’s rich logging history and a culinary...
The Shari’s We Once Knew Is Gone, and Its Empty Buildings Are Up for Grabs
PORTLAND, Ore. – If you ever spent a late night at Shari’s, chain-smoking cigarettes and nursing bottomless coffee refills in the ‘90s, this one stings. Shari’s Café & Pies—once a beacon of...
Bigger, Bolder, Better: Pioneer Joe Coffee Becomes the Largest Roaster on the Oregon Coast
The Oregon Coast has long been synonymous with stunning ocean views, quaint coastal towns, and a vibrant sense of community. Now, coffee enthusiasts in Lincoln City have another reason to celebrate:...
Weirdo Boldly Reads Newspaper in Public Instead of Mindlessly Doomscrolling Like the Rest of Us
PORTLAND, OR — In a bizarre scene that left passersby unsettled, a local weirdo was spotted yesterday morning sitting alone on a park bench downtown, openly reading a physical newspaper instead of doomscrolling his phone like a normal, emotionally fragile person....
Sad: Loser Photographer Just Needs to Give it Up, Because Let’s Be Honest His Work is Trash
Roseburg, OR — In a heartbreaking but entirely predictable development, local Roseburg man Tyler McMannis reportedly spent yet another weekend wandering Oregon’s scenic trails, clinging desperately to his Canon EOS camera like it wasn’t already over for him. Witnesses...
Oregon Named Best State To Raise A Little Free-Range Anarchist With A Trust Fund
PORTLAND, OR — In news that surprised absolutely no one and disappointed absolutely everyone’s grandparents, Oregon has officially been named the best state to raise a little free-range anarchist with a trust fund. The groundbreaking report, issued by the National...
Prineville Proudly Becomes First Sanctuary City for Straight White Men
PRINEVILLE, OR — In a historic move celebrated by men who still know how to change a tire, Prineville has officially declared itself the first Sanctuary City for Straight White Men in Oregon — and maybe the last safe place left west of Idaho. The resolution, passed...
80s Babies Rejoice As ‘From A Hose’ Bottled Water Finally Hits Store Shelves
U.S. — In a move hailed as “the greatest beverage innovation since Tang,” Crystal Stream announced today the release of their new limited-edition bottled water flavor, “From A Hose,” sending shockwaves of nostalgia through millions of Americans born in the 1980s. The...
Parents Announce Baby Was Born Seed Oil-Free, Plan to Raise Him on Rainwater and Beef Tallow
PORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents Chad and Sage Turner of Forest Grove proudly announced that their newborn son, Braven, entered the world completely free of seed oils — a triumph...
New Study Finds 100% of Deer Crossing Roads Really Could Give a Crap Less
UNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads, 100% of deer really could give a crap less. Researchers at Oregon State University spent six months observing deer behavior on highways,...
Oregon Reassures Residents After Cyberattack: ‘Don’t Worry, Your Data’s Probably Fine, Maybe, Who Knows.’
SALEM, OR — After hackers dumped 1.3 million files from the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality onto the dark web, state officials quickly reassured the public with the kind of soothing, half-hearted optimism that has become an Oregon trademark: "Don't worry,...
Sources Confirm Neighborhood Child Might Even Go Outside This Weekend
U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike. Brandon, best known for...
America Faces Crisis: No More Drunk 2AM Taco Runs as Jack in the Box Shutters Nationwide
U.S. — In a move described by many as a "direct attack on poor decision-making," Jack in the Box has announced the closure of dozens of its locations across the country, sending shockwaves through the nation’s drunk and deeply hungry population. Once hailed as the...