News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Man Fishing for Dinner Horrified After Reeling In Screaming Vegetarian Karen

EAGLE CREEK, OR — A peaceful day of fishing took a harrowing turn for local man Doug Harper after he accidentally reeled in a screaming woman identified only as Karen, who immediately began berating him for “murdering aquatic citizens” and “violating the lake’s safe space.” “I thought I had a nice...

Oregon Democrats Greenlight Largest Tax Hike Ever With No Vote From the People

As grocery prices remain sky-high and job losses continue across Oregon, Democratic lawmakers have pushed forward with what is shaping up to be the largest tax increase in state history — and they’re doing it without giving voters a voice. House Bill 2025, a sweeping transportation package, is...

Oregon Hosts First Hunger Games in the Nation Featuring Riots, Wildfires and Future Lockdowns

SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to bring communities together through coordinated chaos, the state of Oregon has officially launched the nation’s first Hunger Games, complete with blazing wildfires, spontaneous riots, and a rotating schedule of statewide lockdowns. Organizers say the event...

Mom Suspects Her Sweet Growing Boy Who Ate Entire Grocery Haul at 11PM May Be on the Marijuanas

SPRINGFIELD, OR — After discovering that her entire week’s worth of groceries had mysteriously vanished in the dead of night, local mom Karen Delaney is beginning to suspect that her “sweet growing boy” may, in fact, be on the marijuanas. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” said Karen, standing...

Oregon Bans Conservatives

SALEM, OR — In a move hailed by absolutely no one outside the Portland metro area, Oregon lawmakers have officially banned conservatives from residing in the state, citing “vibe mismatch” and “continued misuse of the word ‘woke.’” The emergency legislation, passed 31–0 after all dissenting...
Are You Ready For The “Big One?” Most Oregon Highways Will Be Knocked Out

Are You Ready For The “Big One?” Most Oregon Highways Will Be Knocked Out

Grocery stores will be empty, gas stations will be out of gas, and roads in and out of western Oregon will be so damaged that travel by road will likely be impossible for months, or potentially even years afterwards. Are you prepared for the "big one?" We hear about...

Oregon District Court Shuts Down Albertsons/Kroger Grocery Merger

Oregon District Court Shuts Down Albertsons/Kroger Grocery Merger

On December 10, 2024, the U.S. District Court for the District of Oregon granted the Federal Trade Commission's (FTC) request for a preliminary injunction, effectively halting Kroger Company's proposed $24.6 billion acquisition of Albertsons Companies, Inc. This...

Oregon Zoo Welcomes Two Orphaned Cougar Cubs

Oregon Zoo Welcomes Two Orphaned Cougar Cubs

The Oregon Zoo has two adorable new arrivals this week, as a pair of orphaned cougar cubs settle in behind the scenes. The littermates, a male and a female, were discovered wandering alone in southwest Washington last month. Rescued by Washington Department of Fish...

Two Drivers Face Charges in Deadly Portland Hit and Run Case

Two Drivers Face Charges in Deadly Portland Hit and Run Case

Two drivers have been formally indicted in connection with a hit-and-run collision that claimed the life of a Portland woman in late September. A Multnomah County grand jury handed down the indictments on Wednesday, Nov. 29, against 39-year-old Julio C. Salazar-Arias...

Armed Robbery Shakes La Grande Neighborhood Early This Morning

Armed Robbery Shakes La Grande Neighborhood Early This Morning

LA GRANDE, OR – Residents of La Grande woke up to unsettling news today as an armed robbery took place in the early hours at a home on the 700 block of F Avenue. According to the La Grande Police Department (LGPD), the incident occurred at approximately 5:27 AM on...

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