News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Uh Oh: Eugene Man Shocked to Learn Constitution Still Has That Gun Thing In It

EUGENE, OR — Local part-time kombucha brewer Jasper Willow-Breeze experienced what experts are calling "acute textual trauma" this week after skimming a pocket Constitution and discovering the Second Amendment is still in there. “I thought we deleted that back in like, the 90s,” said...

This Isn’t Satire: Eugene Man Arrested After Threats With Gun-Shaped Bong in Grocery Store Parking Lot

You’d be forgiven for thinking this was another one of our ridiculous headlines—because “man with rifle-shaped bong triggers full police response” sounds straight out of satire. But nope. This one’s 100% real, Oregon. On Friday afternoon, May 2, police in Eugene responded to a report around 12:21...

Portland Solves Downtown Drug Crisis Instantly With Bold New ‘Drug-Free Zone’ Signs

PORTLAND, OR — In a stunning turn of events, downtown Portland’s decades-long struggle with open-air drug use has officially ended—thanks to a bold new policy initiative: putting up a lot of signs. Lining the street like hopeful little soldiers, a series of “DRUG-FREE ZONE” signs now boldly mark...

Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’

PALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the deep state, former President Donald Trump announced a bold new plan to reshape the American holiday calendar by adding two new national holidays: “We’re the Best Day” and “Other Countries Are...

Portland Protesters Demand More Things to Protest

PORTLAND, OR — In a surprising show of unity, hundreds of Portland protesters gathered downtown Tuesday not to decry a specific issue, but to demand more things to be upset about. “Frankly, we’re running out,” said protester Kai Evergreen, who held a blank cardboard sign in silent defiance. “We’ve...
Bull Jumps Fence at Sisters Rodeo, Injuring Spectators

Bull Jumps Fence at Sisters Rodeo, Injuring Spectators

An unexpected event at the Sisters Rodeo on Saturday night resulted in injuries to three individuals. During the final bull riding segment, a bull unexpectedly leapt over a fence, escaping the arena and entering a spectator zone. According to officials, the bull...

Dead Humpback Whale Washes Ashore on Oregon Coast

Dead Humpback Whale Washes Ashore on Oregon Coast

Officials are urging the public to avoid a stretch of the north Oregon coast after a dead humpback whale washed ashore Monday morning in Nehalem Bay State Park, just south of Manzanita. The 33-foot-long male whale came on shore about a mile north of the north Nehalem...

13th Oregon County Approves ‘Greater Idaho’ Measure

13th Oregon County Approves ‘Greater Idaho’ Measure

Diverging perspectives on crime and social policies create a rift between urban and rural populations. The secession proposal aims to move Oregon's eastern boundary 200 miles to the west. Crook County voters approved the measure with 53% in favor. Residents of Crook...

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