This tale of a beach-bound Bonnie without her Clyde is less Ocean's 11, and more "Ocean's Oops".
As reported by KOIN6, on the unassuming Wednesday morning of July 31, 2023, a past employee of the Siletz Bay Pelican Brewing was nabbed for a slightly ambitious DIY "employee bonus". Denali Cox, 34 (clearly in the midst of a quarter-life crisis), now finds herself sunning in a slightly less glamorous locale—a jail cell in Maui.
The story goes: while still under the gracious employ of Pelican Brewing, our devious heroine, Ms. Cox, cried wolf. At approximately 9 a.m., right when most folks are busy caffeinating, she frantically informed the authorities that a rogue ruffian in a black hooded sweatshirt and black pants had boldly robbed her whilst she was on her benevolent mission to deposit the restaurant's earnings at the bank. Tragic, right?
However, upon a slightly more in-depth glance, Lincoln City's Sherlock-Holmes-wannabes unearthed a teeny discrepancy: there was no ruffian! Gasp! It turns out, this was all just a scene from Ms. Cox's one-woman theatrical debut. Taking "dine and dash" to a whole new level, it seemed Denali fancied herself a briefcase full of cash (and receipts, because who doesn’t love accounting?). Oh, and did we mention she had already packed her bags and was Hawaiian-bound just two days before this alleged "robbery"?
By September, even the Lincoln County Grand Jury had their popcorn out, watching this drama unfold. They swiftly produced a fancy invitation for Ms. Cox: an indictment for the crimes of Aggravated Theft 1, a class B Felony, and Filing a False Police Report, a class A Misdemeanor.
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But, you see, our dear Denali was already sipping Mai Tais in Maui. Fortunately, the ever-cordial Lincoln City police made a quick call to their island counterparts. After what we imagine was a spirited game of beach volleyball, the Maui police courteously escorted Ms. Cox to her new "resort suite" – the local jail where she's currently in custody awaiting extradition back to Oregon.
Remember, kids: if you're going to dream, dream big. Just maybe not "robbing your employer and fleeing to Hawaii" big.
