That Oregon Life · Stories & discoveries
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ATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking new report released Friday, doctors from the National Institute of Realistic Health confirmed that individuals over the age of 36 are, in fact, technically still alive—though most are now operating…
EUGENE, OR — In an inspiring display of community spirit, local meth entrepreneur Travis "Sparky" Jenkins has announced a new initiative aimed at educating the next generation of scientists: free backyard "science lessons" for area youth.…
PORTLAND, OR — In what city officials have described as "just another Tuesday," former President Joe Biden was spotted casually driving an old-school ice cream truck through downtown Portland this afternoon, smiling brightly and proudly holding…
PORTLAND, OR — In a bizarre scene that left passersby unsettled, a local weirdo was spotted yesterday morning sitting alone on a park bench downtown, openly reading a physical newspaper instead of doomscrolling his phone like…
PORTLAND, OR — In news that surprised absolutely no one and disappointed absolutely everyone’s grandparents, Oregon has officially been named the best state to raise a little free-range anarchist with a trust fund. The groundbreaking report,…
PORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents Chad and Sage Turner of Forest Grove proudly announced that their newborn son, Braven, entered the…
UNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads, 100% of deer really could give a crap less. Researchers at Oregon State University spent six…
SALEM, OR — After hackers dumped 1.3 million files from the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality onto the dark web, state officials quickly reassured the public with the kind of soothing, half-hearted optimism that has become…
U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike. Brandon, best…
U.S. — In a move described by many as a "direct attack on poor decision-making," Jack in the Box has announced the closure of dozens of its locations across the country, sending shockwaves through the nation’s…
OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so…
SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something…
