Portland’s tourism board has announced an exciting new way for visitors to experience the city’s vibrant urban landscape: “TentBnB” – the ultimate authentic downtown lodging experience!

For just $89 a night (or $10 if you book directly with Rick behind the 7-Eleven), tourists can immerse themselves in the full Portland experience by staying in one of the city's many pop-up accommodations lining the sidewalks, parks, and MAX stations.

“Why waste money on a hotel when you can enjoy open-air sleeping with skyline views and the scent of burning shopping carts wafting through the air?” said city tourism director Brooke McManus. “Our TentBnB program offers guests a true Portland experience, complete with live street performances, an all-you-can-take buffet of free bike parts, and an optional guided tour of the city’s top-rated dumpster cuisine.”

Excited visitors have already started leaving rave reviews. “It’s like glamping, but grittier,” said one tourist from California, clutching a rusty, unidentifiable metal object he was given as a “Portland souvenir” after waking up. “I love how the city encourages guests to get to know their tent neighbors. Just last night, a guy named ‘Two-Tooth Jimmy’ traded me a used sock for a bottle of NyQuil!”

The program comes with several luxury upgrade options, including:

• The Deluxe Blue Tarp Package™ ($29 extra) – featuring an industrial-strength tarp for added rain protection, expertly draped over a broken-down Subaru Outback for extra stability.
• The Needle-Free Zone Upgrade ($15 per night) – guarantees at least one square foot of pavement where guests probably won’t step on anything sharp.
• The Streetlight Ambiance Experience (Free!) – enjoy 24/7 illumination from flickering streetlights that may or may not still have bulbs.

For the more adventurous, TentBnB offers prime locations near Portland’s best attractions, including:

• Waterfront Tent Suites – a scenic riverfront setting with stunning views of floating shopping carts.
• Downtown Tarp Village – nestled in the heart of the city, where guests can experience authentic late-night drum circles, spontaneous civil unrest, and early morning megaphone activism!
• Luxury Underpass Lodging – featuring naturally provided concrete insulation and occasional visits from Portland’s famously relaxed law enforcement.

Local officials have high hopes for TentBnB, touting it as the future of sustainable housing. “This initiative aligns with Portland’s progressive values,” said a city spokesperson. “We’re not just giving tourists a place to stay—we’re also giving them an unforgettable life lesson in urban survival!”

At press time, visitors who booked the "Two-Night Deluxe Package" were being informed that their tents had been stolen, but were welcome to “file a report that will definitely be ignored.”