BREAKING: Portland Resident Offended by This Headline and Also the Word ‘Resident’
PORTLAND, OR — Chaos erupted in a local community Slack channel today after a Portland man reportedly became deeply offended by the headline of an article that hadn’t even been written yet. Sources confirm that 32-year-old River Moss-Fernwood (they/them), who identifies as post-geographic and spiritually nomadic, was outraged after reading the headline: “BREAKING: Portland Resident Offended by This Headline and Also the Word ‘Resident.’” “I don’t identify with the colonial concept of...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Ride This Coastal Train In Oregon For A Spring Break Adventure You’ll Never Forget
If you're looking for the perfect spring break activity on the Oregon Coast, this is it. Sun, sea air, coastal charm—and the nostalgic click-clack of a historic train. The Spring Break Excursion...
Ever Wanted To See Inside A Multi-Million Dollar Oregon Home? Now’s Your Chance
Just outside of Smith Rock State Park sits a stunning home with even more stunning views, and it can be yours for just under five million dollars.
Millions of Blooms Await! Don’t Miss the 2025 Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival in Oregon
Rows and rows of colorful tulips on a foggy morning or a crisp spring day are the perfect way to welcome spring. The Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival offers blooms, hot air balloons, wine, and family fun!
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
People Drive From All Over Oregon To Indulge In The Ultimate Comfort Food At This Cozy Brewery
Tucked away in the small town of Monroe, Oregon, Long Timber Brewing Company is more than just a microbrewery and restaurant—it’s a tribute to the region’s rich logging history and a culinary...
The Shari’s We Once Knew Is Gone, and Its Empty Buildings Are Up for Grabs
PORTLAND, Ore. – If you ever spent a late night at Shari’s, chain-smoking cigarettes and nursing bottomless coffee refills in the ‘90s, this one stings. Shari’s Café & Pies—once a beacon of...
Bigger, Bolder, Better: Pioneer Joe Coffee Becomes the Largest Roaster on the Oregon Coast
The Oregon Coast has long been synonymous with stunning ocean views, quaint coastal towns, and a vibrant sense of community. Now, coffee enthusiasts in Lincoln City have another reason to celebrate:...
BREAKING: Portland Resident Offended by This Headline and Also the Word ‘Resident’
PORTLAND, OR — Chaos erupted in a local community Slack channel today after a Portland man reportedly became deeply offended by the headline of an article that hadn’t even been written yet. Sources confirm that 32-year-old River Moss-Fernwood (they/them), who...
UnitedHealthcare Announces Bold New Plan To Cover Nothing
MINNETONKA, MN — In a daring move sure to disrupt the healthcare industry, UnitedHealthcare unveiled its most ambitious policy overhaul yet: a bold new plan to cover absolutely nothing. “We’ve listened to our customers,” said CEO Clive E. Denial, during a press...
Heavenly Gates Swing Open After Val Kilmer Whispers “I’m Your Huckleberry” to the Intercom
In a moment theologians are already calling “the chillest entrance into the afterlife on record,” actor Val Kilmer ascended to Heaven yesterday and gained immediate entry by softly uttering his iconic Tombstone line — “I’m your huckleberry” — into a slightly outdated...
Middle-Aged Man Confident He ‘Still Got It’ While Mouthing Entire Limp Bizkit Verse at Red Light
SPRINGFIELD, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that 43-year-old Tyler Blevins, divorced father of three and assistant manager at the Eugene AutoZone, radiated unshakable confidence while mouthing the entire second verse of Limp Bizkit’s “Re-Arranged” during his morning...
Experts Agree: ‘The NeverEnding Story’ Is The Ultimate Emotional Reset Button
U.S. — After decades of research, burnout, and failed coping strategies involving expensive apps and oat milk lattes, mental health experts have finally reached a consensus: rewatching The NeverEnding Story is the ultimate emotional reset button. “It’s cinematic...
Portland to Roll Out Human Litter Boxes This Summer, Tackling Public Defecation Crisis
In what city officials are calling a “revolution in urban sanitation,” Portland will begin installing CrapTrap 3000™ units across the metro area—human-sized, self-cleaning litter boxes designed to address the growing issue of public defecation, and “shaping the...
Oregon State Scientists Baffled as Willamette River Births New Glow-in-the-Dark Creature
WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — In a groundbreaking yet deeply unsettling discovery, scientists at Oregon State University have confirmed the spontaneous emergence of a glow-in-the-dark humanoid creature from the depths of the notoriously murky Willamette River. According to...
Oregon Man’s Depression Downgraded from “Crippling” to “Moody” After Full Day of Sunshine
Creswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching your jaw,” local man Kyle Benson’s depression was officially downgraded from crippling to merely moody following an unprecedented full day of...
Portland Family Says Final Goodbyes to Dad Who Bravely Drank From Benson Bubbler
PORTLAND, OR — A local family is in mourning after 44-year-old Ron Breckman tragically passed away this week following what experts are calling “a reckless and ultimately fatal decision” to drink directly from a downtown Portland Benson Bubbler. “He just leaned in and...
Report: Someone Needs to Quiet That Sniveling Brat Immediately
SALEM, OR — A routine grocery run at the WinCo Foods off Commercial Street in Salem turned into a full-blown auditory crisis Friday morning after a local child—described by witnesses as "small but emotionally explosive"—unleashed a battle cry somewhere between a...