WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — City officials issued a blunt but widely appreciated advisory Wednesday morning urging residents to remain indoors after a night of relentless rain, howling wind, and power outages that left much of the valley waking up cold, exhausted, and...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
Tina Kotek Says No Christmas Presents Under Tree For Anyone Opposing Her Tax Bill
SALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek issued a stern holiday warning this week, announcing that residents who oppose her latest tax bill should not expect to find Christmas presents under the tree this year, calling the measure “a necessary sacrifice for the greater...
Area Man Behind on Rent Says He’s ‘Treating Himself’ While Shopping at Tiny Overpriced Hippie Grocery Store
EUGENE, OR — Despite being nearly three weeks behind on rent and actively refusing to open his banking app, local man Aaron L., 34, confirmed Tuesday that stopping by a tiny, overpriced hippie grocery store was “exactly what he needed right now.” “I’ve just been under...
Kotek’s Gas Tax Jeopardy After Oregon Voters File Nearly 200,000 Signatures
A Republican-backed group has submitted nearly 200,000 signatures to Oregon election officials, a move that appears likely to block a recently approved gas tax increase and force the issue onto the 2026 ballot. The group, No Tax Oregon, turned in the signatures Friday...
Portland Clarifies River Poop Is “Different Poop” Than What Residents Dodge Downtown Daily
PORTLAND, OR — City officials moved quickly Monday to clarify that the recent release of human waste into the Willamette River is not the same poop residents routinely dodge on downtown sidewalks, stressing that while the two may appear similar, smell similar, and...
Portland Replaces Christmas Tree With Large Green Object, Calls New Holiday Display “Bold” and “Inclusive”
PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful departure from...
Bend Named ‘Top Relocation Choice for Californians Who Don’t Understand Why Locals Hate Them’
BEND, OR — Bend has once again topped the charts as the #1 relocation destination for Californians who are baffled by local hostility, according to a new report from the National Association of People Who Turned One Bedroom Condos Into Retirement Plans. Researchers...
Apparently Portland Has Decided Its Christmas Tree Is No Longer a Christmas Tree
Portland’s long-running holiday tradition took on a noticeably different tone this year after city officials avoided using the phrase “Christmas tree” during the 41st annual lighting ceremony at Pioneer Courthouse Square, referring to it only as “the tree.” The...
Kotek Announces Christmas in Oregon Will Now Be Known as “Inclusive Winter Observance”
SALEM, OR — In a move that experts are calling “bold,” “innovative,” and “the most Oregon thing to ever happen,” Governor Tina Kotek announced Monday that traditional Christmas celebrations will be officially replaced statewide with a new holiday: Inclusive Winter...
Tourist Mispronounces Willamette, Immediately Deported Back to California
PORTLAND, OR — A Southern California tourist was escorted to the Oregon–California border Tuesday after loudly referring to the Willamette River as the “Will-Uh-Mah-Tee,” a pronunciation so catastrophically off-base that officials classified it as an “Immediate...
State Officials Confirm Half of Oregon Thanksgiving Traffic Caused by One Toyota Prius Going 41 in a 55
SALEM, OR — In a shocking but somehow completely predictable Thanksgiving Day update, state transportation officials confirmed Thursday that roughly 50% of all traffic congestion on Interstate 5 can be traced back to a single silver Toyota Prius traveling at a...
Nike Founder Drops 3 Million to Boost Republicans While Kotek Faces Bottom Tier Approval
Nike founder Phil Knight has made his largest political contribution ever to Oregon Republicans with a 3 million dollar donation to the Bring Balance to Salem PAC on October 22 according to campaign finance filings. The PAC is focused on helping Republicans gain seats...











