PORTLAND, OR — While many couples might opt for a candlelit dinner or a rom-com, local partners Jesse and Rowan have found a more thrilling way to spend quality time together: watching chaos unfold in real-time from the…
SALEM, OR — Nostalgia hit hard this week for 42-year-old Brent Halverson, who fondly remembered a simpler time when seatbelts were optional, ashtrays were full, and his mother hotboxed a two-door Nissan Sentra like she was training for…
Another Portland protest turned dangerous Wednesday night after demonstrators attempted to set fire to the federal ICE building in South Portland. According to Portland Police, the incident escalated just before 10 p.m. when officers observed a man stacking…
PORTLAND, OR — Tension rippled through Powell’s City of Books on Tuesday after a smooth-skinned weirdo with no visible tattoos and—more disturbingly—no bumper stickers on his car was seen casually walking into the store. Witnesses say the man,…
ROWENA, Ore. — A fast-moving wildfire erupted Wednesday afternoon near the iconic Rowena Crest viewpoint in the Columbia River Gorge, forcing urgent Level 3 “Go Now” evacuations in the area. The Wasco County Sheriff’s Office reported the fire…
PORTLAND, OR — In anticipation of this weekend’s peaceful protest that definitely won’t involve any windows mysteriously shattering themselves, city health officials have released a helpful reminder to all would-be demonstrators: “Don’t forget to stretch before yeeting.” “Too…
OREGON — It was supposed to be just another day of lazy tubing, questionable sunscreen application, and aggressively warm seltzers. But for one local woman, the universe had something deeper in store — a reckoning of the soul,…
GRANTS PASS, Ore. — One of Oregon’s most iconic brands is making a big move—but says it’s not turning its back on the Beaver State. Dutch Bros, the wildly popular coffee chain that got its start as a…
NOGALES, AZ — Migrants attempting to cross the U.S.-Mexico border fled in confusion and terror this week after federal agents deployed a towering AI-generated hologram of former President Donald Trump riding a bald eagle, sources confirmed. Witnesses say…
LOS ANGELES, CA — Gleaming like a freshly waxed Tesla and strutting with the confidence of a man who just cured drought with cucumber water, California Governor Gavin Newsom made headlines Monday after addressing statewide unrest from the…
PORTLAND, OR — History was made this weekend at the Rocky Mountain Regional Hair-Off when 29-year-old Cassidy “Cactus” McBride strutted away with the coveted Best Chest in the West trophy—despite fierce competition from local lumberjacks, bass players, and…
“It’s time I lived my values,” says local man as he sets out organic snacks and fair trade matches. PORTLAND, OR — Declaring that “true solidarity means flammability,” local activist Caleb Renner has officially invited a group of…
