Federal Government Sends Emergency Porta-Potties To Hardest-Hit Taco Bell Locations
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what officials are calling "the largest gastrointestinal emergency response in American history," the federal government announced Tuesday it has begun deploying thousands of emergency porta-potties to Taco Bell restaurants experiencing catastrophic restroom demand following the return of the chain's popular Volcano Menu. The operation, dubbed Operation Relief Valve, has already delivered portable restrooms to more than 2,800 Taco Bell locations nationwide, with another...
THINGS TO DO & EVENTS
Festivals, concerts, seasonal celebrations, and memorable Oregon adventures worth putting on your calendar.Fresh ideas for getting out and enjoying Oregon, from upcoming community events to unforgettable places and experiences around the state.
9 Magical Places To See Christmas Lights In Oregon In 2023
Dazzling Christmas lights, holiday markets, and Santa and Mrs. Clause will be making appearances all over Oregon this holiday season!
Celebrate The Magic Of The Holidays At The Silverton Christmas Market
Experience the magic and warmth of the holiday season at the Silverton Christmas Market, a festive haven for time well spent with family during the holidays.
Blink-182’s One More Time Tour Coming To Portland
Ah, the golden era of the '90s. The era of baggy jeans, frosted tips, skater culture, and of course, the heyday of pop punk. For many of us Oregonians, that era wouldn't have been the same without...
Bend Now Requiring All New Residents To Pick Up Mandatory Puffy Black Columbia Jacket At City Hall
BEND, OR — In a move city officials are calling “a natural evolution of our community’s identity,” Bend has officially begun requiring all new residents to report to City Hall within 48 hours of...
Oregon Governor Teases Possibility of Asking Voters First Before Approving Massive Legislation
SALEM, Ore. — In what political scientists are calling “the most shocking development since the invention of public comment,” Oregon Governor Tina Kotek reportedly suggested she may one day consider...
Governor Kotek Heroically Walks Through WinCo, Imagines Life If She Weren’t Rich
SALEM, Ore. — In a stunning act of courage and relatability, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek visited a WinCo Foods on Tuesday afternoon “to see how regular Oregonians live,” reportedly spending nearly...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
This Humble Oregon Roadside Stop Is Serving Up Some of the Best Homemade Donuts You’ll Ever Try
There’s something special about walking into a place that still smells like sugar and warm dough before sunrise. You know you’ve hit a gem when people are already lined up with coffee cups in hand,...
Nearly a Century Later, Beckie’s Café Still Serves Crater Lake’s Best Pie Since 1926
Tucked away in the lush forests of southern Oregon, just off Highway 62 on the road to Crater Lake National Park, sits one of Oregon’s most beloved hidden gems: Beckie’s Café. This rustic log cabin...
In-N-Out Offering Complimentary Meals This Veterans Day
It’s not every day In-N-Out Burger gives you an excuse to skip cooking and grab a free Double-Double, but Veterans Day is one of them. This year on Monday, November 11, In-N-Out is showing its...
80s Babies Rejoice As ‘From A Hose’ Bottled Water Finally Hits Store Shelves
U.S. — In a move hailed as “the greatest beverage innovation since Tang,” Crystal Stream announced today the release of their new limited-edition bottled water flavor, “From A Hose,” sending shockwaves of nostalgia through millions of Americans born in the 1980s. The...
Parents Announce Baby Was Born Seed Oil-Free, Plan to Raise Him on Rainwater and Beef Tallow
PORTLAND, OR — In what health experts are calling "a medical miracle and/or a Facebook group fever dream," new parents Chad and Sage Turner of Forest Grove proudly announced that their newborn son, Braven, entered the world completely free of seed oils — a triumph...
New Study Finds 100% of Deer Crossing Roads Really Could Give a Crap Less
UNITED STATES — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what drivers have long suspected: when it comes to crossing roads, 100% of deer really could give a crap less. Researchers at Oregon State University spent six months observing deer behavior on highways,...
Oregon Reassures Residents After Cyberattack: ‘Don’t Worry, Your Data’s Probably Fine, Maybe, Who Knows.’
SALEM, OR — After hackers dumped 1.3 million files from the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality onto the dark web, state officials quickly reassured the public with the kind of soothing, half-hearted optimism that has become an Oregon trademark: "Don't worry,...
Sources Confirm Neighborhood Child Might Even Go Outside This Weekend
U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike. Brandon, best known for...
America Faces Crisis: No More Drunk 2AM Taco Runs as Jack in the Box Shutters Nationwide
U.S. — In a move described by many as a "direct attack on poor decision-making," Jack in the Box has announced the closure of dozens of its locations across the country, sending shockwaves through the nation’s drunk and deeply hungry population. Once hailed as the...
Local Man Casually Stands at Edge of Lawn for 45 Minutes Just to Let Everyone Know He Did That
BEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at the edge of his freshly mowed lawn, arms crossed and chin slightly elevated, just long enough for every neighbor within visual range...
Sad: Oregon Creamery’s Full Tub of Ice Cream Now Just a Tiny Micro-Pint Thanks to Inflation
OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so small it legally qualifies as a sample. The...
Oregon Democrats Introduce Bill to Replace Axe Throwing With Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss
SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something more emotionally enriching: the Safe Space...
M&Ms To Be Coated With Kale Slime Following New Ban on Food Dyes
U.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that all colorful M&Ms will now be coated in a thick layer of organic kale slime following HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s sweeping ban on...