Portland Man Placed On Watchlist After Failing To Protest Anything This Week
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling a deeply troubling development, a 34 year old Portland resident has been placed on a community watchlist after failing to attend, organize, or aggressively livestream a single protest this week. According to neighbors, the man was seen Saturday morning drinking locally roasted coffee on his porch without holding a sign, chanting, or condemning capitalism in any visible way. “It started Monday,” said one concerned block captain, who asked to remain...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Locals Are Lining Up For Free Burgers At Burgerville Grand Opening In Bend
The first 100 paying customers at the grand opening will score a gift card loaded with the equivalent of 52 Original Cheeseburgers. That’s one free burger a week for a year, just for showing up early and ordering breakfast.
This Unassuming Oregon Spot Is Serving Up Road Trip Worthy Burgers
Eagle Cap is the kind of spot where locals celebrate birthdays and travelers feel like they’ve found a hidden gem, especially when craving a big, juicy, made-from-scratch burger.
This Cafe’s Gooey Cinnamon Rolls Are Reason Enough to Hit the Oregon Coast
Discover homemade cinnamon rolls, fresh pastries, and espresso at Salmon Harbor Cafe in Winchester Bay. This cozy spot by the marina serves up breakfast, lunch, and local charm.
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
This Unassuming Oregon Spot Is Serving Up Road Trip Worthy Burgers
Eagle Cap is the kind of spot where locals celebrate birthdays and travelers feel like they’ve found a hidden gem, especially when craving a big, juicy, made-from-scratch burger.
This Cafe’s Gooey Cinnamon Rolls Are Reason Enough to Hit the Oregon Coast
Discover homemade cinnamon rolls, fresh pastries, and espresso at Salmon Harbor Cafe in Winchester Bay. This cozy spot by the marina serves up breakfast, lunch, and local charm.
This Tiny Tackle Shop In Hebo Has a Breakfast Sandwich That’ll Hook You for Life
Open at 4AM, this hidden spot in Hebo is slinging breakfast sandwiches loaded with bacon, egg, and cheese on flaky biscuits or muffins.
State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome
In a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach has now been filled with the Oregon Pioneer—better known as the Gold Man from atop the Oregon State Capitol. The...
“This Protest Sure Is Neato,” Says Man Who Hasn’t Moved More Than 6 Feet Since Clocking Out, While His Meatloaf Waits at Home
PORTLAND, OR — Local accountant Greg Waller, 42, expressed mild admiration through clenched teeth Thursday evening as he sat motionless in traffic for the third consecutive hour due to a massive anti-Trump protest downtown. “This protest sure is neato,” Waller...
Cannon Beach Tuft Puffin Takes a Little Poo on Unsuspecting Tourist
CANNON BEACH, Ore. – In what wildlife officials are calling “a majestic act of nature,” a tufted puffin at Cannon Beach reportedly took a perfectly aimed, suspiciously intentional poo directly onto the head of an unsuspecting tourist from Des Moines. Witnesses say the...
New Study Finds 97% of Streaming Time Spent Just Scrolling Across 6+ Subscriptions
In a groundbreaking study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have confirmed that 97% of the average person's time on streaming platforms is spent endlessly scrolling through titles while slowly losing the will to live—despite having more than six active...
“Eugene Squirrels Are Straight-Up Trippin’ After Being Fed Psilocybin Mushrooms,” Officials Say
EUGENE, OR — City officials are urging residents to stop feeding psychedelic mushrooms to local squirrels, after what one parks employee described as a “full-blown squirrel consciousness shift” unfolded near the duck pond at Alton Baker Park earlier this week. “We’ve...
Weekend BBQ Plans Proceed as Dad Secures Down Payment on Ribeyes
SWEET HOME, OR — After weeks of intense financial planning and one extremely awkward meeting with a steak loan officer, local dad Ron Beckett has officially secured a down payment on two USDA Choice ribeye steaks—just in time for his long-awaited weekend BBQ. “We had...
Parents Sit Teen Down for “American Dream Talk,” Gently Explain He’ll Be Renting a Carpeted Garage Corner for $2,400
Salem, Oregon — In a moving display of parental love mixed with economic nihilism, local couple Doug and Melissa Jenkins sat their 17-year-old son Caleb down Tuesday night for what they solemnly called “The American Dream Talk”—a beloved Jenkins family tradition in...
That Methy Neighbor Wearing Headlamp at 2:30AM Is Just One Bolt Away From Wrapping It Up
SPRINGFIELD, OR — Residents of a quiet suburban street were once again reassured by the familiar clanking of socket wrenches and muttered profanity echoing through the neighborhood as that really cool methy neighbor resumed work on his eternally disassembled Honda...
Bend Transplant Really Getting Sick of Californians Acting Like They Belong Here Too
BEND, OR — Brad Collins, a proud Bend transplant who moved from San Diego just 13 months ago, is reportedly really getting sick of all the Californians flooding into town like they own the place. “Everywhere I look it’s Teslas, goldendoodles, and someone in a...
10 Out of 10 Oregon Hikers Admit Trail Was ‘Just Okay’ Until the Edibles Kicked In
“At first it was just trees. Then it was THE trees.” OREGON CASCADES — A groundbreaking new study from the Pacific Northwest Institute of Vibes has revealed what most Oregon hikers already know in their hearts: hiking is pretty mid until the edibles hit. According to...