PORTLAND, OR — After years of observation, analysis, and quietly judgmental note-taking, researchers have formally admitted they still do not understand why Portland residents look the way they do. The announcement came Tuesday from a multidisciplinary research team stationed primarily outside coffee shops, food co-ops, and sidewalks where no one appears to be headed anywhere specific. “We thought time would help,” said lead researcher Dr. Elaine Morcroft, gesturing vaguely toward a person...