News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Man Downtown Portland Waving Machete Could Use a Hug

A man in downtown Portland, spotted waving a machete in the air and passionately arguing with a lamppost, appears to be in dire need of a hug, according to multiple witnesses who observed the situation with a mix of concern and understanding. "He wasn't really threatening anyone," said local...

Scientists Confirm Oregon Is the Worst Place on Earth in February

A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet sock,” said Dr. Philip Malweather, a local meteorologist...

SAD-Stricken Oregonians Seen Photosynthesizing in Public at First Glimpse of Sun

PORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting extreme cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with some even exhibiting plant-like behaviors in desperate attempts to absorb any available light. Eyewitnesses claim...

Corey Feldman’s Music in “Goonies 2” to Be Used as a Torture Device for the Bad Guys

In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia of the long-awaited sequel, Feldman’s songs will serve a...

Experts Pretty Sure It’s the End Times, But Scientists Insist It’s Actually Just a Tuesday

WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s just another Tuesday. “We’re seeing all the...
Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

If there's going to be a strip club open amidst a global pandemic, of COURSE it is going to happen in Portland, Oregon. Lucky Devil Lounge started with their new food delivery service, with dancers bringing food to your door. The service was formerly known as Boober...

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

Just a few miles North of Pacific City and Cape Kiwanda you will find the Sandlake Recreation Area, where a 40 foot male grey whale washed up on Sand Lake overnight. The area covers 1,076 acres of open sand dunes, surrounded by forests and along side the Pacific...

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

In the day of UFO sightings becoming a regular thing, people are naturally curious and drawn to explainable lights and flying objects in the sky. As now even reported by local news stations as staff at KEZI counted counted 20 lights over a 10 minute period coming from...

Pink Floyd to Stream Full Concert Videos During COVID-19

Pink Floyd to Stream Full Concert Videos During COVID-19

If there's one thing we have no shortage of in America amidst the COVID-19 virus, it's at home entertainment. One of the most influential and talented bands ever known to man, Pink Floyd, is expected to launch a weekly series of full concert videos on YouTube starting...

Farmers’ Market in Corvallis, Oregon to open this Saturday

Farmers’ Market in Corvallis, Oregon to open this Saturday

Looking to get some fresh produce? Well you will be happy to know the Corvallis-Albany Farmers' Market is expected to open up this Saturday, April 18. Of course, as shown in the post on Facebook, some basic guidelines should be followed in light of COVID-19. The...

X