News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Greater Idaho Plans Halted: “We Won’t Let The Devil’s Lettuce Corrupt Our Righteous State”

In a shocking yet somehow predictable turn of events, Idaho has officially pulled out of the Greater Idaho Movement, citing grave concerns over what officials have dubbed “the Devil’s Garden of Unholy Plants” festering just across the state line in Oregon. “We had a vision,” explained Idaho’s...

Forgotten Laundry Basket Scheduled for Relocation Delayed Due to Lack of Motivation

In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately known by the household as...

Portland’s 2025 Naked Bike Ride Cancelled After City Runs Out of Eye Bleach

In a shocking turn of events, Portland officials announced that this year’s highly anticipated Naked Bike Ride has been abruptly canceled after the city completely ran out of eye bleach. The shortage occurred just days before the annual event, leaving local residents in a state of panic as they...

Local Man Pauses Movie for 15th Time as Wife Continues to Narrate Plot Twist He Hasn’t Seen Yet

MORRISON, OR – Local man Jared Thompson, 34, was forced to hit the pause button for the fifteenth time last night after his wife, Emily Thompson, 32, insisted on providing a running commentary for a plot twist he hadn’t actually reached yet. The couple had decided to settle in for a cozy movie...

New Study Finds 97% of Hot Springs Nudists Have the Exact Body Type No One Wants to See Naked

A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed. The study, which surveyed thousands of...
Oregon Getting Closer To Legalizing Psychedelic Mushrooms

Oregon Getting Closer To Legalizing Psychedelic Mushrooms

Psilocybin (Magic Mushrooms) may soon be legal to use in Oregon in therapeutic treatment settings. Recently enough signatures were gathered to put a measure on Oregon's November ballot. If the measure passes, it means a new program will be phased in over two years to...

Scout Northwest On Oregon Coast Reopens Their Doors

Scout Northwest On Oregon Coast Reopens Their Doors

If you're wondering how you can support local business, and happen to be in the Lincoln City area on the Oregon Coast, or Seaside, make sure and stop at our favorite store SCOUT Northwest Trading Company. As of Friday, May 15, Scout locations are once again open and...

New Drive-In Movie Theater To Open On Oregon Coast Tomorrow

New Drive-In Movie Theater To Open On Oregon Coast Tomorrow

Drive in movies are something that many people in our modern times have never had the pleasure of experiencing. The Pop Up : Drive In : Stay Safe in Astoria, Oregon is aiming to change that, all from the safety and comfort of your own vehicle. Due to current social...

Man steals rifle from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene, $500 reward

Man steals rifle from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene, $500 reward

A man who stole a rifle and a scope from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene around 11:30 a.m. was caught on camera, and the owners are seeking any information you may have immediately. Mazama Sporting Goods, according to their Facebook post, is offering a $500 reward for...

Oregon State Park Closure To Be Extended Past May 8

Oregon State Park Closure To Be Extended Past May 8

In light of COVID-19, Oregon State Parks have announced via Facebook that the state park system is to remain closed past May 8. This news comes just one day after Washington state announcing state parks will open again May 5. No daytime or overnight visitors are...

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