News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Forgotten Laundry Basket Scheduled for Relocation Delayed Due to Lack of Motivation

In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately known by the household as...

Portland’s 2025 Naked Bike Ride Cancelled After City Runs Out of Eye Bleach

In a shocking turn of events, Portland officials announced that this year’s highly anticipated Naked Bike Ride has been abruptly canceled after the city completely ran out of eye bleach. The shortage occurred just days before the annual event, leaving local residents in a state of panic as they...

Local Man Pauses Movie for 15th Time as Wife Continues to Narrate Plot Twist He Hasn’t Seen Yet

MORRISON, OR – Local man Jared Thompson, 34, was forced to hit the pause button for the fifteenth time last night after his wife, Emily Thompson, 32, insisted on providing a running commentary for a plot twist he hadn’t actually reached yet. The couple had decided to settle in for a cozy movie...

New Study Finds 97% of Hot Springs Nudists Have the Exact Body Type No One Wants to See Naked

A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed. The study, which surveyed thousands of...

Cougars on High Alert as Yet Another Human Wanders Into the Woods Without Common Sense

Cougars across Oregon are once again sounding the alarm as yet another human has wandered deep into the wilderness, completely unprepared and blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Local mountain lions, who have spent generations fine-tuning their survival instincts, are reportedly baffled by...
Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

With snow dumping and high winds in the Columbia River Gorge, multiple sources are reporting Interstate 84 has been closed in both directions at milepost 17 in Troutdale to milepost 82 near The Dalles. The Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) closed the section...

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

With heavy snow right now in Oregon (at least heavy for us), I thought it would be a good time to offer some useful tips on how to drive in the snow. Driving in the snow can be challenging, even for many of us who have a lot of experience driving through the white...

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