News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome

In a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach has now been filled with the Oregon Pioneer—better known as the Gold Man from atop the Oregon State Capitol. The swap, carried out under cover of...

“This Protest Sure Is Neato,” Says Man Who Hasn’t Moved More Than 6 Feet Since Clocking Out, While His Meatloaf Waits at Home

PORTLAND, OR — Local accountant Greg Waller, 42, expressed mild admiration through clenched teeth Thursday evening as he sat motionless in traffic for the third consecutive hour due to a massive anti-Trump protest downtown. “This protest sure is neato,” Waller muttered to himself, beads of stress...

Cannon Beach Tuft Puffin Takes a Little Poo on Unsuspecting Tourist

CANNON BEACH, Ore. – In what wildlife officials are calling “a majestic act of nature,” a tufted puffin at Cannon Beach reportedly took a perfectly aimed, suspiciously intentional poo directly onto the head of an unsuspecting tourist from Des Moines. Witnesses say the event occurred just after...

New Study Finds 97% of Streaming Time Spent Just Scrolling Across 6+ Subscriptions

In a groundbreaking study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have confirmed that 97% of the average person's time on streaming platforms is spent endlessly scrolling through titles while slowly losing the will to live—despite having more than six active subscriptions. "We expected some...

“Eugene Squirrels Are Straight-Up Trippin’ After Being Fed Psilocybin Mushrooms,” Officials Say

EUGENE, OR — City officials are urging residents to stop feeding psychedelic mushrooms to local squirrels, after what one parks employee described as a “full-blown squirrel consciousness shift” unfolded near the duck pond at Alton Baker Park earlier this week. “We’ve seen a dramatic uptick in...
Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Hey there, fellow Oregonians! Just a heads up for anyone planning to hit the road soon – Highway 101 is currently off-limits between Seaside and Cannon Beach Junction. Why, you ask? Well, we're dealing with some serious flooding here, thanks to the atmospheric river...

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

In a significant legal development, Harney County's Circuit Court Judge, Robert S. Raschio, recently ruled that Oregon's Measure 114, a gun safety law approved by voters, is unconstitutional. This ruling resulted in a permanent injunction, effectively pausing the...

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

In a recent announcement, the Oregon Wildlife and Fisheries Department declared a special opportunity for outdoor enthusiasts in Oregon. Following the Thanksgiving holiday, the state will host complimentary fishing days. From November 24th to 25th, fishing enthusiasts...

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