SALEM, OR â Frustrated by the complete lack of communication from the Trump administration regarding Oregonâs frozen federal funding, Governor Tina Kotek has taken an unconventional approach: hiring a psychic medium to establish contact with President Trump. "We've...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
New Law Requires Drivers to Telepathically Predict Cyclistsâ Next Move
Portlandâs latest progressive traffic law aims to bridge the âunderstanding gapâ between drivers and cyclists PORTLAND, OR â In an unprecedented move that solidifies Portlandâs status as the nation's most bike-friendly city, local officials have passed a controversial...
Oregon Breakfast Joints Insist You Bring Your Own EggsâOr Indulge in Their âInvisible Omelet’
Oregon diners looking forward to a hearty breakfast might need to start checking their fridges before heading out. In a move that perfectly captures the spirit of desperate times, desperate measures, several Oregon breakfast joints have announced a new "BYOE" (Bring...
Boss at Home Genuinely Cares About Your Safety As Roads Ice Over, Suggests Leaving Earlier
In a heartwarming display of corporate compassion, local work-from-home boss Greg Danielsâcozy in his flannel pajama pantsâhas reassured his employees that the roads âarenât that bad,â despite a winter storm dumping over six feet of snow overnight, transforming the...
REPORT: Oregonians See First Snowflake, Immediately Forget How to Drive, Walk, and Function
OREGON â In a shocking turn of events that happens literally every single year, Oregonians have once again been caught completely off guard by the arrival of snow. Despite meteorologists warning of an incoming winter storm for a week, the state collectively gasped in...
Oregon State Parks Introduce Monthly Hiking Plans With New âTrailFlixâ App
Hiking in Oregon just got a whole lot more exclusive. Following in the footsteps of every streaming service, gym membership, and software company, Oregon State Parks have unveiled a brand-new subscription model for accessing public trails, scenic viewpoints,...
Greater Idaho Expands: âWeâre Taking All of Oregon, But Portlandâs Getting Walled Offâ
In a stunning turn of events, the Greater Idaho movement has thrown out its old map, crumpled it into a wad of regret, and decided to annex the entire state of Oregonâexcept Portland, which they claim is âtoo far goneâ to save. âWe realized we were thinking way too...
Facebook User Stunned to Discover His Rant Didnât Instantly Change the Other Guyâs Mind
Boring, Oregon â In what experts are calling an unprecedented failure of logic and reason, a local man in Boring, Oregon, was left completely stunned after his lengthy, all-caps social media rant failed to immediately convince a stranger to change their entire...
Portland Decriminalizes CrimeâResidents Now Required to Politely Ask Criminals to Stop
Faced with an unprecedented rise in crime, Portlandâs City Council has taken decisive actionâby officially decriminalizing all crime. In a unanimous vote on Tuesday night, officials opted to remove all criminal penalties from the books, arguing that traditional laws...
Gresham Mysteriously Missing from Yet Another âMust-See in Oregonâ Travel Guide
Itâs happened again. Another âTop 10 Must-Visit Places in Oregonâ article has hit the internet, and, in a shocking turn of events that no one could have possibly predicted, Gresham has once again been left off the list. Weâre not talking about some small, overlooked...
Inconvenient Child Declares, âMom, I Have to Go. Like, Really BadââRight After the Final Rest Stop for 50 Miles
RURAL HIGHWAY, USA â In what experts are calling a âstatistically impossible yet somehow inevitable event,â a local child has once again declared an urgent need to use the restroom precisely five minutes after the final available rest stop for 50 miles. Eyewitnesses...
After Years of Being in the Ocean, Haystack Rock is Moving to Central OregonâAnd People Have Questions
In a move no one saw comingâyet somehow makes complete sense in the most Oregon way possibleâstate officials have confirmed that Haystack Rock is being relocated to Central Oregon, where it will be placed right next to Smith Rock. Cannon Beach residents, long...











