As reported by OPB, over the past five years, wildfires have scorched more than 36 million acres of land across the United States. But the destruction extends far beyond the burn zones—wildfire smoke travels hundreds, sometimes thousands, of…
Your City, USA — In a shocking turn of events that directly contradicts everything seen on television and social media, a local grocery store was reportedly filled with ordinary people shopping peacefully, with zero political arguments, ideological confrontations,…
A man in downtown Portland, spotted waving a machete in the air and passionately arguing with a lamppost, appears to be in dire need of a hug, according to multiple witnesses who observed the situation with a mix…
A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet…
PORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting extreme cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with some even exhibiting plant-like behaviors in desperate attempts to absorb any…
In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia…
WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s…
PORTLAND, OR — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the local jam band community, customers at a small dispensary in Southeast Portland were stunned to discover that the laid-back, tie-dye-clad man behind the counter isn’t just…
In what’s being dubbed “the most expensive two words ever spoken,” a local man has launched a GoFundMe after making the rookie mistake of telling his wife to “calm down” during a heated discussion about reorganizing the pantry.…
In a nationwide study that absolutely no one asked for, Eugene, Oregon, has taken home the prestigious title of “Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM.” The study, conducted by the National Scent Awareness Coalition (NSAC),…
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what might be the most Portland thing ever, local resident and proud Tesla owner Trevor Greenfield made headlines on Saturday after momentarily driving his $60,000 Tesla Model 3 to the "Tesla Takedown" protest outside…
After a grueling 12-hour road trip filled with endless stretches of highway and way too many gas station hot dogs, Mark and Susan Reynolds were looking forward to a peaceful night’s rest. What they didn’t expect was a…
