Springfield Massage Therapist Charged With Sexual Abuse, Defends Actions as “Technique”
SPRINGFIELD, Ore. — What was supposed to be a routine massage has now led to criminal charges for a Springfield therapist who says he was simply following the “direction of tension.” According to court documents, Matthew Christopher Ramos has been charged with third-degree sexual abuse after a client reported that he inappropriately touched her during a massage session in July. The woman told police she felt scared and froze during the incident. She later texted Ramos saying she felt violated...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
Twelve Men Stabbed at Oregon Shelter with Five Hospitalized in Critical Condition
SALEM, Ore. — In yet another tragic reminder of Oregon’s growing public safety crisis, twelve men were stabbed at a Salem homeless shelter Sunday night — five of them now fighting for their lives in...
This Tiny Tackle Shop In Hebo Has a Breakfast Sandwich That’ll Hook You for Life
Open at 4AM, this hidden spot in Hebo is slinging breakfast sandwiches loaded with bacon, egg, and cheese on flaky biscuits or muffins.
Get Ready to Do the Truffle Shuffle! The Goonies 40th Anniversary Bash Is Coming to Astoria
Hey you guuuuys! Fire up your Data-style gadgets, pull out your map to One-Eyed Willy’s treasure, and grab a Baby Ruth because it’s time to head to Astoria, Oregon, for one of the most epic...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
Elmer’s Set to Open in Former Shari’s Location in Bend
BEND, Ore. — For longtime Oregonians, the familiar glow of a Shari’s sign once meant warm pies, late-night coffee refills, and a place where countless stories were shared across laminated menus. But...
This New Bend Pizza Joint Has Locals Addicted to the Pasta and Wings, Too
There’s something special happening on the east side of Bend, Oregon. It’s not another brewery or food cart pod—it’s pizza. But this isn’t your average slice. Fat Tony’s Pizzeria is turning out...
The Best Milkshakes in Oregon? Locals Say Sno Cap Has Had the Crown Since 1952
When it comes to milkshakes, Oregonians don’t mess around. You can’t just say you’ve got the best milkshake in town—you’ve got to prove it. And that’s exactly what Sno Cap Drive In in Sisters,...
Fyre Festival 2 Promises to Strand Attendees Before They Even Arrive
Fyre Festival 2 is officially happening, and organizers are promising the most authentic festival experience yet—so authentic, in fact, that attendees should expect to be stranded before they even arrive. But this time, founder and convicted fraudster Billy McFarland...
‘I’m Good for One More’: 37-Year-Old Dad of Two Boldly Orders Another Round at 10:15 PM
“I’m good for one more,” said 37-year-old dad of two, Brad Simmons, at precisely 10:15 PM, stunning his coworkers into silence. Witnesses at O’Malley’s Pub reported that the statement was made with the kind of reckless optimism typically reserved for people in their...
Oregon Braces for a Full Week of Raining Cats and Dogs – Local Shelters at Capacity
Oregon residents are in for a ruff week as meteorologists confirm that, yes, it will indeed be raining cats and dogs for the next seven days straight. With fluffy precipitation already falling in some areas, local shelters are struggling to keep up, and pet stores are...
Man Who Identifies as Turtle Requests Residency at Oregon Zoo, Cites ‘Natural Habitat’
PORTLAND, OR — Local man Brian “Snappy” Thompson has officially petitioned the Oregon Zoo to recognize his true identity as a turtle and grant him permanent residency in the reptile exhibit. “I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a turtle trapped in a human’s body,”...
Fast Food Worker Accidentally Gives Customer Every Sauce He Requested
A local man is struggling to comprehend reality after an unthinkable event at a fast food drive-thru last night. Jacob Thompson, 34, ordered a simple meal at a nearby McDonalds, fully expecting to engage in the traditional battle of wills over condiments. But when he...
Springfield to Get Two More Car Washes, Leaving Local Residents Absolutely Speechless with Joy
SPRINGFIELD, OREGON—Local residents can finally breathe a sigh of relief as city officials have approved the construction of two brand-new car washes, bringing the city’s already impressive total to way too many. With this latest addition, locals will have even more...
Oregon to Replace Stop Signs with ‘Gentle Suggestions’ to Avoid ‘Harmful Command Language’
‘Telling Cars When to Stop Is a Form of Road Privilege’ Oregon has officially banned stop signs in an effort to create a more inclusive and emotionally safe driving experience. According to the state’s Department of Transportation, the word “STOP” is simply too...
Trump Suggests Adding His Face to Mount Rushmore, Proposes ‘Executive Order’ to Expedite
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested—and seemingly succeeded in—adding his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his "tremendous" accomplishments, "record-breaking presidency," and "undeniably perfect jawline." According...
Local Woman Proudly Shows Off ‘Check Engine’ Light That Has Been On Since 2018
Local woman Jessica Reynolds is beaming with pride after successfully keeping her car’s “Check Engine” light on for an impressive six years, setting what experts are calling a “remarkable new record in automotive neglect.” “I don’t even see it anymore,” Reynolds said,...
Small Town Officials Approve 8th Dollar General, Say ‘We’re Just Gonna Keep Going’
Residents of Pine Hollow, Oregon, barely had time to recover from the ribbon-cutting of their 7th Dollar General before town officials announced the construction of store #8—directly across the street. The decision, described by Mayor Tom Wilkins as “inevitable,” was...