That Oregon Life · Stories & discoveries
Earlier stories from the Satire archive. Return to the latest stories →
SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was…
In a move that perfectly embodies everything you feared after the election but told yourself to “wait and see,” the people you now deeply regret voting for held an emergency meeting today—not to fix potholes, homelessness,…
HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their…
Springfield, OR — Residents were once again left clutching their pearls this week after hearing rumors about yet another offbeat strip club opening in their neighborhood — but this time, it’s not pregnant women causing a…
NEWPORT, OR — Staff at the Goodwill Boutique on Cape & Donation Center are reportedly “deeply puzzled” by the steady stream of financially struggling people who keep showing up under the false assumption that this is…
EUGENE, OR — In a scene that has become all too familiar in the notoriously congested parking lot of Eugene's Costco, a local man was observed steadfastly waiting with his blinker on for a prime parking…
PORTLAND, OR — In a landmark decision for aquatic rights, Oregon lawmakers have passed legislation requiring anglers to obtain verbal consent from fish before attempting to catch them. House Bill 4042, known officially as the “Hooked…
PORTLAND, OR — In a bold move to finally escape his parents' basement and experience the magic of paying $2,100 a month for 380 square feet of “industrial charm,” local man Kyle Dennison has successfully sold…
PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking but deeply on-brand move, Portland officials have unveiled a towering bronze statue of Tonya Harding in the heart of Pioneer Courthouse Square — a tribute to athleticism, Oregon grit, and…
SWEET HOME, OREGON — What started as a relaxing weekend drive took a tragic turn Saturday afternoon when local man Derek Mitchell was emotionally ambushed mid-guitar solo during Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.” According to sources inside…
EUGENE, OR — Local dad Kyle Hendershot will celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow with a heartfelt gesture that begins with waffles and ends with walls shaking. “I just want to show my appreciation,” says Kyle, who reportedly…
Look, I know we’re all supposed to be “maturing” as a city or “de-escalating tactics” or whatever Mayor-Of-The-Month is tweeting now, but I’m starting to feel like Portland’s really lost its spark—literally. I walked downtown yesterday…
