News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

CRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster emerged from the lake’s impossibly blue depths Thursday afternoon and promptly devoured an entire boat tour, later blaming the impulsive act on a group of “obnoxiously loud TikTok...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...
Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

Snow & Heavy Wind Closes I-84 Through Columbia River Gorge

With snow dumping and high winds in the Columbia River Gorge, multiple sources are reporting Interstate 84 has been closed in both directions at milepost 17 in Troutdale to milepost 82 near The Dalles. The Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) closed the section...

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

How To Drive in Snow & Ice Safely

With heavy snow right now in Oregon (at least heavy for us), I thought it would be a good time to offer some useful tips on how to drive in the snow. Driving in the snow can be challenging, even for many of us who have a lot of experience driving through the white...

Flood Watch in Effect for Large Portions of Western Oregon

Flood Watch in Effect for Large Portions of Western Oregon

According to NOAA, flooding caused by excessive rainfall is possible from 1am Sunday 12/19 through Monday 12/20. Areas affected could include the Central Oregon Coast, Central Coast Range of Western Oregon, Central Willamette Valley, South Willamette Valley, and the...

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