News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

CRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster emerged from the lake’s impossibly blue depths Thursday afternoon and promptly devoured an entire boat tour, later blaming the impulsive act on a group of “obnoxiously loud TikTok...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...
DMV to Close Multiple Offices For Summer in Oregon

DMV to Close Multiple Offices For Summer in Oregon

Due to the fact the Dept. of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is facing worker shortages, and a statewide reorganization of offices, the Corvallis Gazette Times is reporting that 10% of DMV offices will be closing this summer. With six to 60 offices being closed, the offices...

New Oregon License Plates ‘Watch for Wildlife’ Available Soon

New Oregon License Plates ‘Watch for Wildlife’ Available Soon

Oregon is really stepping up their game on all the license plates available these days. Growing up, all we had was the classic old yellow plates. Nowadays you can choose between Crater Lake, The Ducks, Salmon, and more to customize your plate. The latest addition is a...

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