News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Sources Confirm Neighborhood Child Might Even Go Outside This Weekend

U.S. — In a development no one saw coming, sources have confirmed that 12-year-old neighborhood resident Brandon Lunsford might actually go outside this weekend, sparking cautious optimism among local parents and wildlife experts alike. Brandon, best known for spending 18 to 22 hours a day locked...

America Faces Crisis: No More Drunk 2AM Taco Runs as Jack in the Box Shutters Nationwide

U.S. — In a move described by many as a "direct attack on poor decision-making," Jack in the Box has announced the closure of dozens of its locations across the country, sending shockwaves through the nation’s drunk and deeply hungry population. Once hailed as the last beacon of greasy hope...

Local Man Casually Stands at Edge of Lawn for 45 Minutes Just to Let Everyone Know He Did That

BEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at the edge of his freshly mowed lawn, arms crossed and chin slightly elevated, just long enough for every neighbor within visual range to know—without question—that...

Sad: Oregon Creamery’s Full Tub of Ice Cream Now Just a Tiny Micro-Pint Thanks to Inflation

OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so small it legally qualifies as a sample. The company, long known for generous...

Oregon Democrats Introduce Bill to Replace Axe Throwing With Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss

SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something more emotionally enriching: the Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss. House Bill 1147,...
Fire Erupts at Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood

Fire Erupts at Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood

GOVERNMENT CAMP, Ore. — A fire was reported at Timberline Lodge in Government Camp on Thursday night at approximately 9:26 p.m. Flames were visible from the corner of the building via a live external camera feed. Responders from the Hoodland Fire District are at the...

Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

In a recent development, the Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) has announced the temporary closure of all southbound lanes on Interstate 5 at the juncture with Eugene-Springfield Highway I-105. The cause? A group of pedestrians engaging in a protest along the...

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