News

On Sunday, June 22, protests were held in multiple Oregon cities—including Eugene, Portland, Hillsboro, and Beaverton—in response to President Donald Trump’s recent authorization of U.S. airstrikes on three Iranian nuclear facilities. In Eugene, approximately 100 people gathered outside the Old...

EAGLE CREEK, OR — A peaceful day of fishing took a harrowing turn for local man Doug Harper after he accidentally reeled in a screaming woman identified only as Karen, who immediately began berating him for “murdering aquatic citizens” and “violating the lake’s safe space.” “I thought I had a nice...

As grocery prices remain sky-high and job losses continue across Oregon, Democratic lawmakers have pushed forward with what is shaping up to be the largest tax increase in state history — and they’re doing it without giving voters a voice. House Bill 2025, a sweeping transportation package, is...

SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to bring communities together through coordinated chaos, the state of Oregon has officially launched the nation’s first Hunger Games, complete with blazing wildfires, spontaneous riots, and a rotating schedule of statewide lockdowns. Organizers say the event...

SPRINGFIELD, OR — After discovering that her entire week’s worth of groceries had mysteriously vanished in the dead of night, local mom Karen Delaney is beginning to suspect that her “sweet growing boy” may, in fact, be on the marijuanas. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” said Karen, standing...