News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Heroic Father Proudly Sets Microwave Clock For Daylight Savings Before Everyone Wakes Up

Springfield, OR – In an extraordinary act of selflessness and technical prowess, local father Greg Thompson, 47, successfully adjusted the microwave clock for Daylight Savings Time before anyone in the household even woke up. “I didn’t do it for the recognition,” Greg humbly stated, holding a...

Impatient God Heavily Considering Giving California a “Little Nudge” Into the Ocean

HEAVEN—After years of patience, countless warnings, and multiple disasters that somehow still weren’t enough to inspire change, sources close to the Almighty confirm that God is now “heavily considering” giving California a gentle push into the Pacific by 2030. “I mean, I gave them everything,”...

New Study: Women Say Six Inches of Subway is Just Right, Footlongs Are ‘Too Much’

A groundbreaking new study has finally settled the age-old debate: according to a nationwide survey, most women agree that a six-inch Subway sandwich is the perfect size. Conducted by the highly respected Institute of Culinary and Statistical Research, the study found that when it comes to...

Exclusive: Oregon Coast Seagulls Admit to Plotting Coordinated Poop Bombs on Shiny Clean Cars

NEWPORT, OR — For years, coastal visitors have suspected foul play when it comes to the mysterious yet highly strategic poop splatters appearing on their vehicles after a peaceful day at the beach. Today, in a shocking and unprecedented confession, Newport’s seagull community has finally come...

Impossible Foods Reinvents the Burger—Now With 100% Ground Crickets for That Extra Crunch

In a move that has both foodies and entomologists scratching their heads, Impossible Foods has announced their latest innovation: a burger made entirely from 100% ground crickets. Dubbed the Crunchy Classic, this bold new creation promises all the protein of traditional meat with the added benefit...
Eggs in Oregon and Washington Now Required to be Cage-Free

Eggs in Oregon and Washington Now Required to be Cage-Free

As reported by The Oregonian, a significant change in the poultry farming industry has been implemented in Oregon and Washington, with both states enforcing new regulations as of January 1 that require commercial egg farms to adopt cage-free environments for their...

3 People in Portland Dead After Car Shocked By Downed Power Lines

3 People in Portland Dead After Car Shocked By Downed Power Lines

In a tragic incident in Northeast Portland, a devastating accident claimed the lives of three individuals and left a young child injured. This horrific event occurred when power lines, weighed down by a tree branch, tragically fell onto their vehicle. The Portland...

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