News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

BREAKING: Cat Confirms It Did, In Fact, Lick the Lasagna

In a stunning turn of events Tuesday evening, household cat Mr. Biscuits has officially confirmed that he licked the lasagna, and, according to inside sources, would “do it again in a heartbeat.” The lasagna, a bubbling tray of cheesy perfection prepared by 34-year-old Julia Patterson for her book...

Oregon Braces for Rare Tornado Risk as Severe Storms Target the Willamette Valley

A rare and potentially dangerous weather event is expected to impact parts of Oregon and the broader Pacific Northwest on Wednesday, with the possibility of large hail, damaging winds, and even isolated tornadoes—an unusual combination for the region. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric...

Oregon School Earns “Gold Medal in Predator Enablement” After Flawless Record of Inaction

In a historic achievement for institutional apathy, St. Helens High School has been awarded the coveted Gold Medal in Predator Enablement, a rare honor bestowed upon educational institutions demonstrating "exceptional consistency in ignoring red flags, downplaying allegations, and quietly...

Locals Shocked as Portland RV Appears to Give Birth to Full-Sized Truck in Public

PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking roadside event that eyewitnesses are describing as “equal parts beautiful and deeply upsetting,” a vintage RV parked outside a shuttered Hollywood Video reportedly gave birth to a fully grown, lifted pickup truck Tuesday afternoon. “I just came out of Plaid Pantry with...

Graffiti Artists Give Up As Portland Now 100% Covered in Spray Paint

PORTLAND, OR — In a historic moment of questionable achievement, the City of Portland has officially become the first metropolitan area in the United States to reach 100% graffiti saturation, prompting local street artists to reluctantly hang up their spray cans and mutter, “Yeah, I guess that’s...
Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

In a unique discovery reported by KOIN news, a family from the greater Portland area found a 2-pound rock resembling a human heart in shape, color, and size on the Oregon Coast. The Ransom family discovered this rock at Short Beach near Oceanside on March 29, while...

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

In the mystical realm of the Pacific Northwest, an astronomical ballet is set to unfold under the vast, ever-shifting tapestry of the sky this Monday morning. Unlike the celestial spectacle of 2017, where the sun and moon danced in perfect harmony across the Oregon...

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