News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Locals Shocked as Portland RV Appears to Give Birth to Full-Sized Truck in Public

PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking roadside event that eyewitnesses are describing as “equal parts beautiful and deeply upsetting,” a vintage RV parked outside a shuttered Hollywood Video reportedly gave birth to a fully grown, lifted pickup truck Tuesday afternoon. “I just came out of Plaid Pantry with...

Graffiti Artists Give Up As Portland Now 100% Covered in Spray Paint

PORTLAND, OR — In a historic moment of questionable achievement, the City of Portland has officially become the first metropolitan area in the United States to reach 100% graffiti saturation, prompting local street artists to reluctantly hang up their spray cans and mutter, “Yeah, I guess that’s...

Travelers Agree: This Gas Station Port-a-Potty is a ‘Spiritual Oasis in a Plastic Shell’

In the vast, unforgiving wasteland of America’s highways—where fast food wrappers dance in the wind and gas station bathrooms look like crime scenes—one portable restroom has risen above the filth to become a beacon of hope. Perched in front of a Love’s Travel Stop, glowing under the harsh embrace...

Wife Deploys Tactical Rib Jab in Final Attempt to End Husband’s Snoring

MONROE, OR — In the early hours of Wednesday morning, local woman Emily Patterson reportedly launched what experts are calling a "precision-targeted rib jab" into the soft flank of her peacefully unconscious husband, Greg, in a final, desperate effort to end what has been described by neighbors as...

Oregon Capitol Swaps Gold Man for Dad Bod Guy Holding a Vape to Better Represent the Future

SALEM, OR — In a historic and absolutely necessary move, Oregon officials have replaced the iconic Gold Man statue atop the State Capitol with a shirtless, vape-clutching dad bod guy, a bold tribute to the future of civilization. The new statue, affectionately dubbed “Rip the Pioneer”, stands in...
Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

In a unique discovery reported by KOIN news, a family from the greater Portland area found a 2-pound rock resembling a human heart in shape, color, and size on the Oregon Coast. The Ransom family discovered this rock at Short Beach near Oceanside on March 29, while...

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

In the mystical realm of the Pacific Northwest, an astronomical ballet is set to unfold under the vast, ever-shifting tapestry of the sky this Monday morning. Unlike the celestial spectacle of 2017, where the sun and moon danced in perfect harmony across the Oregon...

Chewing Gum DNA Ends 44-Year Hunt for Oregon Killer

Chewing Gum DNA Ends 44-Year Hunt for Oregon Killer

Barbara Mae Tucker, then 19, was a regular student attending Mount Hood Community College in Gresham until on January 15, 1980 the unthinkable happened. Her body was found by another student near the school parking lot, and it was discovered she had been murdered...

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