It started as any other adventure vlog—Kyle, self-proclaimed "wilderness influencer" and part-time crypto enthusiast, set out on a solo trek through Crater Lake National Park in search of "epic, untouched content." Armed with nothing but his phone, a knockoff GoPro, and an absolute refusal to read any of the bear warning signs, he was determined to give his followers the ultimate outdoor experience.
Things took a turn when Kyle stumbled upon a very large, very real bear rummaging through a campsite. Now, a normal person might have backed away slowly. Maybe even noped right out of the park entirely. Kyle? Kyle went live on TikTok.
"Yo, fam, check this out—big ol’ bear out here vibing in nature, just like me," he narrated, stepping closer as his chat exploded.
"Bro don’t get closer."
"That’s not Winnie the Pooh."
"Dude run."
But Kyle was committed to engagement. "No, no, guys, bears are actually chill if you just act like you belong. Watch this," he said, turning the camera to selfie mode. That was the last clear shot of Kyle’s face before the situation escalated violently.
The bear, seemingly fed up with his influencer nonsense, charged. Kyle screamed. The phone went flying. The chat went wild.
"OMGGGGG."
"Is this real?????"
"Where’s the bear cam????"
"SOMEONE SCREEN RECORD!!"
Kyle’s TikTok Live abruptly ended just as things got interesting. His followers were left staring at the dreaded "Live has ended" message, sparking outrage.
"This is actually so unfair," one viewer complained. "We didn’t even get to see what happened."
Meanwhile, park rangers arrived on the scene after receiving a flood of 911 calls from Gen Z viewers. Kyle, miraculously, survived with just a gnarly bite mark and a bruised ego. When questioned, he admitted he had been holding a granola bar in his pocket the entire time.
The bear, unbothered, returned to the forest. Kyle, now a cautionary tale in ranger briefings, made a full recovery but was permanently banned from all national parks in Oregon.
His final words on the matter? "I’ll be back. The algorithm loves bear attacks."
