News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Trump to Reopen Toys “R” Us as Maximum Security Prison for “Really Bad Kids”

BEDMINSTER, NJ — In a bold move to “bring back law, order, and Geoffrey the Giraffe,” former President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will personally oversee the reopening of defunct toy store chain Toys “R” Us — this time as a maximum security prison exclusively for unruly children....

This Oregon Coast Beach Was Ranked the Best Spot to Watch a Seagull Steal a Burrito From a Toddler

CANNON BEACH, OR — In a move that shocked no one familiar with Oregon’s coastal crime wave of airborne kleptomaniacs, Cannon Beach has officially been ranked the most scenic location to witness a seagull violently rob a child of a full-size burrito in broad daylight. The incident that inspired the...

Bend Man Completes Full Conversation Without Mentioning He Mountain Bikes

BEND, OR — In what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” and “spiritual awakening,” local resident Tyler Hensley reportedly completed an entire five-minute conversation on Friday without once mentioning that he mountain bikes. The exchange took place at a local coffee shop known for...

Oregon Drivers Celebrate Sunshine by Staring at Men Wearing Neon Vests Holding Stop Signs

PORTLAND, OR — As the skies clear and temperatures begin to climb, Oregonians are once again flocking to their favorite summer destination: the driver’s seat of a stationary vehicle, parked on a half-paved road, silently observing a group of neon-clad men holding STOP signs like sacred relics of...

Oregon Lawmakers Introduce Bill to Ban Duck Hunt Zapper: “No Civilian Needs an Orange Plastic Firearm”

SALEM, OR — In a move critics are calling “a bold leap backward,” Oregon lawmakers behind controversial gun control Measure 114 have now set their sights on a new threat: the 1985 Nintendo Zapper. Dubbed Measure 114½, the proposed legislation would ban the sale, possession, and inheritance of the...
Wolverine’s Surprise Return Sparks Wonder in Oregon

Wolverine’s Surprise Return Sparks Wonder in Oregon

This wolverine was spotted running around Barlow today. https://t.co/7il4xA4TON pic.twitter.com/4JphRtwplG— FOX 12 Oregon (@fox12oregon) February 26, 2024 In the quaint city of Barlow, nestled along the bustling Oregon 99, an unexpected visitor has made an...

Snow Coming to Oregon Next Week, So Get Your Sun Fix While You Can

Snow Coming to Oregon Next Week, So Get Your Sun Fix While You Can

According to the Statesman Journal, this week we should take advantage of Oregon's sunny days while they last. Next week, the mild spring weather will give way to chilly rainfall and potential snow flurries in the Willamette Valley, with the mountains expecting...

Oregon Senate Fails to Pass Bill to Eliminate Daylight Saving Time

Oregon Senate Fails to Pass Bill to Eliminate Daylight Saving Time

Oregon's latest legislative showdown has left many of us scratching our heads, and frankly, a bit miffed. The stage was set for Oregon to lead the West Coast into a new era, free from the hassle of flipping our clocks back and forth. Yet, in a moment that can only be...

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