Not Satire

Multnomah County Somehow Misplaces $150,000 in Gift Cards

PORTLAND, Ore. — In what absolutely no one familiar with government oversight will find surprising, Multnomah County has announced it cannot account for more than $150,000 in gift cards and cash-equivalent incentives handed out over the last few years. The missing funds, per a story from FOX 12...

Portland Just Added Polyamory to Its List of Protected Classes Because Of Course It Did

In what will likely surprise absolutely no one who has been paying attention to Portland politics for the past decade, the Portland City Council has officially added polyamory to its list of legally protected relationship structures. Yes, really. On Wednesday, city leaders unanimously approved...

Anti-ICE Protester Catches Fire While Attempting To Burn American Flag In Portland

Over the weekend outside a federal immigration facility in Portland, a protest took a bizarre turn when a demonstrator attempting to burn an American flag accidentally set himself on fire. The incident happened during an anti-ICE protest outside the facility, which has been the site of frequent...

Portland Floats Netflix Fee To Pay For Arts Meant To Convince You To Go Downtown

PORTLAND, OR — In the latest episode of How Can We Tax This Next, Portland leaders have reportedly discovered an exciting new revenue stream: your Netflix account. Portland City Council President John Dunphy is floating a proposal to tack on a small monthly fee to streaming services in order to...

Oregon Officials Sue Trump Over Tariffs, Kotek Calls Them A “Tax On Families

SALEM, Ore. — Oregon officials filed a lawsuit Thursday challenging new tariffs announced by President Donald Trump, warning the policy amounts to a harmful “tax on working families.” The lawsuit, led by Dan Rayfield along with attorneys general from more than 20 other states, asks the United...
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